And Then They Made Me Their Chief
by OpraNoodlemantra
Summary: Pirate and Royalty: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.
1. Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV

All right, this is something that will turn out to be veeery interesting, I believe. This story was inspired in US history class, when we were playing a game called Who Wants to Take Over the World, in which you won countries in Europe by answering questions correctly. Kind of like Millionaire. Anyway, I spent most of my school day writing this, and it is something quite different. Hope you enjoy!  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'em.

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_. . . And Then They Made Me Their Chief_  
  
**Chapter 1**  
  
To Captain Jack Sparrow, there was nothing quite like standing at the wheel of your ship on a warm Caribbean day, feeling the breeze blow through your hair and mist from the sea spray upon your face. It was on warm, sunny, calm days like these that Jack realized how wonderful life could be. Everything in life was perfect. He had his Pearl, his crew that were also close friends, and his freedom. Those were the three most important things to the pirate captain. That, and rum. Rum was right up at the top, too.  
  
Jack stood at the helm of the Black Pearl, his right hand on the wheel, his left holding a half-full bottle of rum. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and was staring blankly off into the horizon, when from the crow's nest, the lookout shouted, "Sail Ho!"  
  
His daze broken by the cry, Jack immediately scanned the horizon for a ship. He found what he was looking for, off to the port side of the Pearl. The larger ship was heading straight toward them. He whipped out his spyglass and was taking a closer look at the fast-approaching vessel when his first mate, Anamaria, bounded up the steps to the helm and stopped at his side.  
  
"Looks like a Navy ship to me," she told him assertively. And, indeed, it was. It was a very large ship, probably a hundred-gun ship, and was flying the Union Jack on the top of its mast. But this was not just any ship of the British Royal Navy, this particular ship was one that Jack had become quite familiar with on his adventure to defeat undead pirates just over a year ago.  
  
"It's the Dauntless," he said plainly.   
  
They were only about fifteen miles outside of Port Royal, because Jack was planning on attending the wedding of his two good friends, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. The young couple was to be married in less than three days, and after Jack received a secret invitation, he responded back to them and promised that he would not miss it for the world. Jack thought happily about the couple. He thought about how nervous and foolish young William would be acting as the day rapidly approached, and he hoped that Elizabeth's wedding dress did not include a corset. The wedding would prove to be a very interesting experience, he thought.  
  
So it came as no surprise to see the Dauntless patrolling its own waters surrounding its port. What did come as a shock was that below the Union Jack, a flag of truce billowed in the breeze.  
  
The pirate captain thought this to be most unusual. Why on earth would Norrington want to speak peacefully with pirates, rather than arrest them to see them hang? "Somethin's not right here," he muttered to himself.  
  
His concerns were seconded by Anamaria. "It's a trap," she said calmly. "They're just tryin' to catch us.  
  
This had been the first thought that had occured in Jack's mind, but he had quickly discarded it. Although he and the Commodore have been enemies for quite some time now, they both held a certain respect for each other. Sometimes it seemed like the fierce pirate hunter really did not want to catch the infamous captain, because it would be the end of what seemed to be a game of friendly rivalry. And Jack knew that even if Norrington was trying to capture him, the man would never stoop as low as to pull a dirty trick like what Anamaria had in mind. It would not be at all dignified.  
  
"No," he finally responded to her theory. "Ol' Norrie wouldn't play a gag like tha'. Not very gentleman-like, y'see?" He thought to himself for a few seconds while staring at the fast-approaching ship, then announced his decision. "Let's go see wha' they're wantin'."  
  
By this time, most of the Pearl's crew were leaning against the portside railing, staring intently at the approaching vessel. They all turned their heads in shock at their captain's foolish idea. Every pirate knows that you cannot trust the Navy. They'd make like they wanted to talk to you, but then before you know it, you're dangling by the neck. Was Sparrow trying to get them killed or something?  
  
Gibbs, Jack's trusted quartermaster, spoke the crew's concerns. "Cap'n, what's in yer head? Y'know ye can't trust th' Navy! They just wanna see ye hangin'!"  
  
Gleams of light flashed as the capain bore a quick, white-and-golden grin. "Mr. Gibbs, the Commodore an' I sorta have this agreement about the whole hangin' issue." Gibbs tilted his head in wonder at what his captain could possibly be speaking about. However, Jack did not continue on with the matter, but proceeded to call out commands. "Run up a flag of truce! We'll pull up alongside 'em, then see what they be wantin' from Captain Sparrow." As a couple crewmen went to acquiesce with their captain's command, Jack returned to the helm and harded a port.   
  
After a couple minutes of sailing towards each other, the two ships finally met, side by side. Jack noticed the Norrington standing at the helm of the Dauntless. He took off his hat and waved it in the air while shouting, "'Ello, Commodore! What seems ta be th' matter?"  
  
Norrington answered him in his regular, short-tempered voice, "Permission to board, Sparrow?"  
  
"First off, it's Captain Sparrow. Second, what's yer business anyway? Because if this is some sorta trick to get me an' me crew hanged, we'll just be on our merry way."  
  
"I have some official business concerning yourself, Captain Sparrow." Jack smiled as the Commodore remembered his title. "Very important business that I must discuss with you immediately. And no, we were not planning on arresting you or your crew," he sighed dramatically. He did not want to admit it, but he respected Sparrow and his crew, and really had no desire to see them dead. Then, there would be nothing left for him to do. He was rather relieved when his orders clearly stated that he was not to arrest the pirates.  
  
The Black Pearl crew looked at each other with a bit of relief, but they still did not entirely trust the Navymen. However, their captain was in a particularly generous mood on this fine day, so he allowed them to board. "All right, Commodore. You an' a couple o' yer men can come on over to th' Pearl, so we can talk business".  
  
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On board the Dauntless, Commodore James Norrington called back to Sparrow, "We will be over in a few moments." He then turned to Lieutenant Gillette, Officer Groves, and a few other men, and asked them to accompany him over to the Pearl.  
  
After all, this would indeed be one of the most difficult and embarassing tasks the young Commodore will have ever had to dealt with in his career. He needed all of the support he could get. As a few crewmen laid a plank between the two ships, Norrington announced to his group, "All right men. This job must be done, and unfortunately we are the ones who must do it. But just try to keep a straight face." He took a deep breath and started over to the plank. As he walked, he looked down at the letter he held in his hand, and could barely keep himself from laughing a bit. Just the thought of what he was about to announce was so terribly ridiculous, it was hard for any man to keep a straight face. But now the time had finally come. He stepped up onto the plank, took a deep breath, and slowly walked across and onto the deck of the Black Pearl.  
  
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Captain Jack Sparrow greeted the navymen with a hearty grin. "Commodore!" he shouted while approaching the group of newcomers, "Haven't seen you in a while! An' hello to all you fellas, too." Norrington rolled his eyes at the slightly mad pirate. But after seeing the half-empty rum bottle in the man's hand, his behavior made more sense.  
  
Norrington returned the greeting, but much more curtly. "Good afternoon, Captain Sparrow."  
  
The crew of the Pearl lurked back behind their captain, eyeing the newcomers suspiciously. They were all curious as to what the reason of this meeting is. Jack then voiced their concerns. "So, Norrington, tell me. What's the reason for this 'ere li'l meetin'?"  
  
Norrington finally realized. Now was the time. After talking about it for a few weeks now with fellow officers of the Crown, the big announcement has finally come. He cleared his throat, reopened the parchment letter in his hands, and began. "We have a decree from the Royal Crown concerning Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV, Duke of Worcester. . ."   
  
He paused and looked about at the confused faces of the crewmen of the Black Pearl. However, the captain did not share their confused looks. He had suddenly taken an interest in staring at his shoes, and his cheeks had turned slightly rosy.  
  
The Commodore continued, trying to hide his disgust. ". . . or more commonly known now as Captain Jack Sparrow."  
  
The entire pirate crew looked at their captain in shock and surprise. Captain Jack Sparrow was really a British nobleman? Was this some sort of joke or something? They began whispering amongst themselves, and then began asking Jack questions.  
  
"Captain, what th' hell are those madmen talking about?"  
  
"Is it true, or is this some trick?"  
  
"Your real name is Francis? Haha!"  
  
"You're a Duke?"  
  
Jack Sparrow, formerly Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV stood with his head hung toward the ground, and raised a hand to silence his anxious crew's questions. He almost did not believe what was happining. Nobody had called him by his birthname in more than fifteen years! He even doubted that his family still knew he was alive, and preferred to stay out of their rich, snooty, pompous lives. He took a deep breath and raised his head. To his crew, he announced, "I'll answer yer questions later, savvy?" He then turned back toward the Commodore and took a few steps closer to the man. Noticing the amused looks of the face of the Navymen, he smirked and said quietly, "Aye, that'd be me."  
  
Norrington smirked and looked at the pirate before him. He was stunned when he first learned of the man's past, and still was in a bit of disbelief. How could this man, dressed in ratty clothing, with dreadlocks and beads adorning his long, matted hair, possibly have come from a wealthy background, and be a man of nobility? What on earth went wrong that he gave up that wonderful life to become a pirate? The Commodore had the dire urge to ask him the questions that had been flooding his mind for the past couple of weeks, but he decided to wait until the pirate volunteered the information. He figured that the man's crew would force him to tell the whole story right after they were done, so Norrington decided to cut to the chase. "Mr. Spar- I mean, Sir Francis Stanton," he took amusement at seeing Jack's blush. What a horribly embarassing name to have, Francis. He continued. "By order of the Royal Crown, you must come with me to Port Royal immediately."  
  
Jack looked at him curiously. He could still feel his cheeks burning from being identified by his birthname. Francis, what a god-awful name that was. Bloody family names. But why must he go to Port Royal, he wondered. Maybe his family had finally discovered his whereabouts, and want him sent back to England immediately. He surely hoped not. He ran away for a reason, which he hoped they had realized. A reason which he felt obliged to divulge to his crew and the visiting Navymen, as well as the rest of his interesting past, as soon as he figured out what exactly the Commodore wanted. "An' may I ask why?" he finally asked.  
  
Norrington sighed and looked down at the parchment in his hand. The time for the big announcement was finally upon them. He was both anxious and nervous to see the pirate's reaction, and hoped the news would not go to his head too much. He took a deep breath, and spoke the words.  
  
"Sir Stanton, just a few weeks ago, it was announced that you had inherited the throne of England."  
  
God help us now, Norrington thought. King Jack Sparrow.

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Haha, how do you like that? There's my twistedly weird sense of humor for you. Please review! Another note, for my other readers of Before the Pearl and Legends Never Die, I'm not giving up on those, my muses are just taking a short vacation. 


	2. Mary Had a Little Lamb

Wow, I never expected for this story to be so popular! I honestly didn't think so many people would enjoy it! Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! Here's the next bit, it's a bit short; I was going to include more, but it is already 12:30 AM and I am quite tired, but felt obliged to update. Hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**  
  
Jack's jaw dropped to the floor, as he stared dumbfounded at the Commodore. Him? King? Surely this was some trick. He was of British nobility, but nowhere even close to becoming King. Or so he thought. He swallowed and said softly, "Are you serious? This isn't some sort o' crazy joke o' yers, is it, Norrington?"  
  
Norrington could see that the man was as shocked as he was about the entire ordeal. It was ironic, in a way; the Navyman had always prided himself on being as respectable as possible, and here he was standing before the new King of England, who was covered in dirt, dressed in raggy clothes, had beads and gold braided into his long, unbrushed hair, and was covered with scars and tattoos. Go figure.  
  
He sighed and responded to the pirate's question. "No, it is the truth, I'm afraid." He handed Jack the letter while saying, "Read it for yourself."  
  
Jack snatched the paper, hoping that the whole thing would be proven false. He dreaded going back to his former way of life; it was more like being in prison. He valued his freedom more than anything, and was not sure he would be willing to leave that behind. However, things could take an interesting twist if he chose to accept the crown. . .  
  
He looked down and read the letter, and realized he did not have much of a choice in the matter.  
  
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_To all Commodores of the King's Royal Navy, stationed in the Caribbean:  
  
It is with great sadness that I announce the passing of our great leader, King Henry IX. He truly was a great king, and all of England and her colonies will long mourn his loss. The late King had no children of his own, and it seems that the next of bloodline is the Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV, Duke of Worcester, the grandson of Sir Francis Johnathan Stanton II, King Henry IX's late brother. As Sir Francis II and his son, Sir Francis III, are both deceased, the duty falls to Sir Francis IV. However, we are experiencing difficulty in locating the Duke. His family has not heard from him in over nineteen years, when he abruptly left his home and abandoned his position as Duke at age eighteen. However, it is believed that the Duke is still alive, and has been confirmed by several sources that he is now posing as a pirate under the alias of Captain Jack Sparrow. We realize the sensitivity of the pirate threat in our Caribbean colonies, and wish to keep this matter as quiet as possible. I want you to find Sir Francis IV immediately, and once he is discovered, to report with him to Port Royal immediately. I will be in Port Royal in a month's time to meet with the Duke when he is found. You are officially ordered to take the Duke into custody, and to leave his ship and crew leave freely. I shall meet with him in Port Royal as soon as he is discovered, and will discuss his decision. If he chooses to accept the crown, he will be taken to England as soon as the next ship is made ready. However, if he declines the crown, he must serve punishment for his crimes, and will be hanged for piracy. Please make haste in finding Sir Francis Stanton IV. I will arrive in Port Royal in mid-September, and will be residing at the Governor's mansion until the new King is located. Thank you for your cooperation.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Admiral Patrick Aston, King's Royal Navy_  
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Jack looked up from the letter sadly. Some choice he had. Either return back to his former way of life as a noble, which he despised, or get hanged. He'd have to do some major thinking over the next few days.   
  
He finally responded to the Commodore. "Well, isn't that lovely?" he asked in disgust. "You Redcoats sure do know how to mess up my life, y'know?"  
  
Norrington rolled his eyes. He just didn't understand why the man wasn't happy about being made King. He knew that he himself would be delighted to take the job, and so would most other normal people in the world. But Sparrow was far from normal. He retorted, "Well, Mr. Sparrow, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way-"  
  
Jack cut him off. "I believe it's now 'Your Majesty,'" he said with a mischevious smirk, while Norrington sneered at him.  
  
"All right. . . your majesty," he said in disgust. This just was not right. "Would you please accompany over to the Dauntless, so we can return to Port Royal as soon as possible?"  
  
Finally, Anamaria could no longer hold her tongue. Jack? King of England? This entire situation completely befuddled her, as well as the rest of the crew. There was no way in hell that she would let Norrington take Jack before he would tell them what was going on. "He's not goin' nowhere 'til he tell's us what the bloody hell's goin' on!" she shouted at the Commodore. Turning to Jack, she said, "Now, are ye gonna tell us 'bout all these bleedin' secrets ye've been keepin', or are ye gonna make us die of suspense?"  
  
Norrington raised an eyebrow. He, too, was intensely curious to hear this story. "Yes, Mr. Sparrow, do tell."  
  
Jack looked at Norrington, then stuck his nose in the air and tapped his foot impatiently on the deck. After a few moments, Norrington realized what he wanted. "I mean. . . Your Majesty." Jack grinned. This would be too much fun.  
  
"All right, I'll tell ye. But first, ye've gotta do somethin'. King's orders.  
  
The Commodore rolled his eyes. What ridiculous thing could this fool want him to do now? He had a feeling that this would be a very long couple of weeks. "What?" he asked impatiently.  
  
Jack thought for a moment, then a huge grin spread across his face. "I want ye, Commodore, and yer crew, to dance around an' sing 'Mary Had a Li'l Lamb.'" He managed to stifle a laugh, but his crew was unable to. This would be way too much fun.  
  
Norrington glared at the pirate angrily. "Never. I'll never do such a ridiculous thing. Especially not for you."  
  
"Now Norrington, that ain't a very nice thing to say to yer King, y'know. I could have ye arrested fer that. Now ye dance, or I won't move an inch or say a word. An' plus, ye hafta do what the king tells ye, or else!"  
  
He rolled his eyes again. "Or else what?"  
  
"Or else I put ye in the brig! Now are ye gonna dance, or not? I'm not gettin' any younger."  
  
Norrington glared at the "King" one last time, then turned to his men and nodded. The small group all began to jump up and down, and a few of them even did some fancy dance steps and turns. They started to sing "Mary had a little lamb. . ." But after the first line, none of the Black Pearl crew could hear them over their own laughter. Jack and his mates were laughing hysterically at the sight, and a few were even rolling on the deck. Being a King did have some advantages, Jack supposed.  
  
At the end of the song, all of the navymens' faces were bright red from embarassment. Once again, Norrington stepped forward. Now it was Sparrow's turn to uphold his half of the bargain. "All right, Francis," he said, and took a bit of revengeful pleasure at seeing Jack blush and look at him angrily, "Let's hear your story."  
  
Everyone on deck looked anxiously at Jack. He sighed, and walked over to one of the crates off to the side to take a seat. Everyone gathered around him once again, and he began. "Well, as you all already figured out, my birthname is Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV. Bloody awful name. Really, only me parents called me Francis, but me sisters an' me mates all called me Jack, on account o' my middle name. Anyway, me pop was Duke of Devonshire, an' somehow, they made me Duke of Worcester. I dunno why. Anyway, I always bloody hated my life then. Ye always had to act all proper an' fancy, which I never was too good at. . ."

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Did you like that? Haha, I about killed myself from laughing when I thought up the Norrington dancing idea! Next chappie will be a bit of a flashback; I'll try and update asap. Don't forget to review! 


	3. Prudence the Prude

Hello to my readers! Sorry for the long delay, a whole month? That is just inexcuseable. Well, I've been out of town since the very first day of summer, and just returned yesterday, but now I shall have more time to write.  
Anyway, these next two chapters are flashbacks (hence the italics). I was going to combine them, but that was getting a bit long, and I needed to get something out for you all to read. So here goes nothing!

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**Chapter 3**  
  
_Jack Stanton was lying on his bed, hands behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was not looking forward to the events of this day. For this was the day that before his wedding to Prudence Rutherford, the rich brat that he had been betrothed to. His parents said that he needed to be married soon enough, since he was already eighteen and a Duke. His two older sisters, Rose and Carolyn, were already married to other fine Noblemen, and his younger sister, Marie, was betrothed to the young Earl of Yorkshire. He needed a fine Duchess, they said. So his father took the liberty of arranging a marriage between Jack and the daughter of Lord Robert Rutherford, one of the richest men in England, which came packaged along with a very friendly business relationship between his father and Rutherford. Unfortunately, his daughter, Prudence, was one of the most spoiled brats that Jack had ever had the displeasure of meeting.  
  
He sighed as a maid came in and roused him out of bed. "Come on, Sir, do get up. Your mother and father are waiting for you downstairs." The maid, Sally, bustled about the room, setting out clothes for Jack to wear.  
  
Jack stayed in bed and groaned. "Hey Sally, why don't you tell 'em I'm sick?" he asked her, in a vain attempt to get out of another busy day.  
  
"Nonsense, Sir. You know that today is the day of your wedding party. Still are lots of preparations that need be made. Decorations, food, getting you fitted for your clothes, and the like. Also, the Rutherfords will be over for luncheon to help prepare. . ." Jack dazed off as the typically long list of events planned for his day droned on. It did not sound terribly thrilling to him, however.  
  
"All right, all right, I'm gettin' up!" he said while standing.   
  
"Good. I'll be leaving then." Sally put his clothing on the chair near his bed, and quickly exited.  
  
Jack groaned as he stretched his arms above his head. As he stared out the window at his family's bountiful green lands, he became even more dismayed at his situation. Everyone wanted him to be something he was not: a proper English gentleman. Which, of course, entailed acting pompous and snooty, always being nice to all other rich people while looking down upon anybody else, and never doing things that were deemed "unacceptable" by others. What great fun, Jack thought bitterly.  
  
Jack, of course, was the son of one of the most powerful men in England, and was actually a distant relative of the King himself. His life consisted of parties, balls, schooling, and courting snobbish young ladies. He thought it rather ironic that while there were so many people who would give their left arm to be in his position, he would just assume be a peasant than to live like this for the rest of his life.   
  
He walked over to the chair on the opposite side of his large bedchamber and examined the heavily decorated shirt, trousers, and jacket that were folded neatly on the seat. Like most of his other clothes, they were not terribly comfortable. So he stumbled over to his closet and selected a loose-fitting white shirt and a pair of more comfortable trousers. He then sat down in the chair and pulled on his shoes, then sat back with a long sigh and closed his eyes. Waking up early was something he did not enjoy.  
  
His short nap was quickly interrupted by the shrill call of his mother, "Fran-CIS! Francis! Hurry down to breakfast!" Bloody woman, Jack thought. Lady Beatrice Margaret Stanton was one of the phoniest people he had ever met. She spent much of her time kissing up to other wealthy couples, then came home and incessantly complained about every one of them.  
  
He figured that now was the time he would get lectured by his parents about propriety, and about what a wonderful girl Prudence is, and about what a wonderful match the marriage would make between the two families, and about how he better not mess anything up. The usual lecture. He called out, "Coming, Mother!" as he quickly tied his wavy black hair into a crude ponytail. He quickly grabbed his coat as he ran clumsily out of the room and downstairs.  
  
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Jack stumbled into the room, to find his parents and his sister Marie already eating breakfast. "Francis, you're a mess! Look at you, your shirt is untucked, and your hair has not been properly brushed!" Jack rolled his eyes at his mother's typical morningly greeting. Rather than inquire about how he slept or comment on the beautiful day, she always chose to upbraid him about things so minor as these.  
  
"I'll straighten up later, Mother," he said halfheartedly as he sat down at the table. He saw his father inspecting him, and said, "G'mornin', Father."  
  
Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton III wore his typical expressionless face as he glared indifferently at his son. He was not a very caring sort, and rarely did he ever show any positive emotion, especially to Jack. "Good morning, Francis," he said indifferently as he continued to gaze at the young man's appearance. He let out a sigh, and said flatly, "I do hope that you will better your appearance and manners before the Rutherfords arrive." He continued to eat his food and read the letters placed on the table, as if nothing had just occurred.  
  
Jack seethed with anger at the man, and his thoughts flew out of his mouth before he could contain them. "I'll wear what I bloody well want to, thanks. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to scare ol' Prudence the prude away." He didn't quite realize that he had said that out loud, until he saw Marie staring at him wide-eyed and tight-lipped, and felt himself being pulled out of his chair by the collar of his shirt. He saw that his father's face was bright red with anger as his hand slapped harshly against Jack's cheek.   
  
"What did you just say?" he shouted as he pulled Jack's collar tighter in his fist.  
  
"Nothin', sir," Jack mumbled as he looked toward the floor.   
  
"I did not think so." His father thrust him toward the door. "Now, return to your bedchamber immediately and change your clothing. I do not wish to see you until the Rutherfords arrive, at which time you will exemplify much more appropriate behavior. Am I understood?"  
  
As he rounded the corner out of the dining room, Jack turned around and said, "Aye aye, Cap'n!" then quickly bounded up the stairs and down the hallway, to return to the peaceful solitude of his room. As he left, he heard his mother say to her father in her shrill, squeaky voice, "I hope you did not bruise him on the day before his wedding, darling. That would not look very appropriate."   
  
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Marie Stanton did not want her brother to get married. She knew that all her siblings would be married off in time, but she had an especially close relationship with her brother Jack, and would miss him terribly when he left.  
  
She also felt bad that their parents forced him into marrying such a snooty girl. Prudence Rutherford was the epitome of all the types of people that Jack and Marie despised. She was spoiled, snotty, shallow, and self-centered. Marie felt lucky that her parents had been a bit kinder in her own betrothal. She was to be married in a year's time, as soon as she reached age sixteen, to Sir Benjamin Nigel Worley, Duke of Yorkshire, who had proven himself to be a true gentleman, as well as a true friend. But poor Jack was stuck with Prudence the prude, as they had secretly nicknamed her.  
  
She walked down the long hallway and stopped in front of the fifth door on the left and knocked softly. Jack called out gruffly, "Who is it?"   
  
She answered him, "It's me."  
  
"Come on in, 'Rie," he called back. She opened the door to find him sitting at his desk, putting a paper inside the drawer. She could see that he had changed into one of his finest suits, and had even taken the time to smoothly comb back his wild black hair. He propped his feet up on the desk, put his hands behind his head, and, grinning, said, "What might I be doin' for ya?"  
  
She took a seat on the edge of his bed and looked down at her lap. Wringing her hands, she said, "I'm really sorry 'bout all this, Jack."  
  
Marie looked up and saw him looking at her, eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What're you sorry about?" he asked her, as he placed his feet on the ground and rested his elbows on his knees, leaning towards her.  
  
"I'm just sorry. You know. About you getting married, about Prudence, about everything." She saw him look at the floor sadly, and continued. "I know that this isn't the life you want, Jack, and I'm just sorry."  
  
Jack leaned forward and put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Rie, don't be. I'll be alright." He then stood up and began to walk around the room, in his usual bumbling gait. "After all, who wouldn't want to marry ol' Prudie?" He walked up in front of Marie, and standing with his nose high in the air, began speaking in a high-pitched, stuck-up voice. "Father, you are terrible! I asked for a chamber pot made of pure gold, and you only gave me one of silver! I hate you!"  
  
Marie laughed. One of their favorite activities was mocking Prudence the prude. She got down on her knees and grabbed Jack's knees, and said in her manliest voice, "Oh, darling Prudence! Do forgive me, I am not worthy of your greatness! I shall get you your golden chamber pot soon enough!" She then pretended to kiss his feet.  
  
Jack continued with the charade. "Father, I want my golden chamber pot NOW!" he screeched, and stamped his foot on the ground while crossing his arms and sticking his nose even higher in the air. "And for causing me this distress, I also expect a three-layer chocolate cake!" They both burst into laughter, because Prudence was not exactly thin, and tended to eat in great quantities.  
  
Their masquerade was ended by Sally entering the room. "M'Lord, M'Lady, your parents request your presence downstairs. The Rutherfords will be arriving shortly.  
  
"Thank you, Sally," Jack replied, and Sally nodded as she exited the room. Jack grabbed Marie's hands and helped her to her feet. "Well, here goes another lovely visit," he said as he pulled her up.  
  
Once on her feet, Marie began to smooth her blue silken skirts, and resume her previous conversation. "But Jack, I really am sorry. I hope things will turn out all right for you."  
  
Her brother smirked as he offered her his arm. As she took it, he said to her, "Don't worry, love. I have a feeling things will take a turn for the better."   
  
She looked at his smirking face curiously, and wondered what he could possibly have in mind. 'Well, it's probably better to wait and see,' she thought to herself as they descended the staircase.

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Did you enjoy? I hope so! I shall be updating a bit more regularly now, so I hope you keep reading. Now, don't forget to review! _


	4. Resisting Strangulation

Hello once again! I am terribly sorry for the delay, but here is the next chapter! I made it a bit longer than usual, so I hope you enjoy it.  
31 reviews???? Just for little old me??? WOW! You all are awesome! Really, your reviews are great ego-boosters. You have no clue how happy I get to see another review come through my email (unless it's a flame, but I haven't gotten any of those yet). I appreciate each and every one!!  
Anyway, the story. You know how I said that there would be only two flashback chapters? Well, I lied. This is part 2 of the flashbacks (hence the italics), and the next one will conclude this little flashback segment. Then we will get on with the main story, savvy? Anyway, here you go! Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4**  
  
_"There you two are! It was very rude of you to keep your father and me waiting." Jack rolled his eyes at his mother's typical nagging greeting as he and his sister entered the parlor. Lady Stanton sat upon the sofa, daintily fanning herself as she sipped tea.   
  
His father sat at the desk in the room, writing one of many letters to, undoubtedly, an important person. As Marie sat next to her mother on the sofa, and Jack was about to take a seat in the chair, he looked up from his work and said, "Francis, I would like to have a word with you in my study." He stood and marched hastily through the doorway into his study, and Jack, not wanting to press the envelope any further, followed quickly. He entered the large, exquisitely-decorated room in his usual half-stagger, and shut the doors behind his back.  
  
Sir Francis Stanton III gave his son a cold glance as he took his customary seat behind the large mahogany desk in the back of the room. Jack plopped himself in a chair and proceeded to prop his feet up on the desk, much to his father's dismay. He grinned as his father sighed loudly and closed his eyes in dismay. There was nothing quite as amusing as annoying someone and watching his reactions. Especially when the person being annoyed is one's own father.  
  
His father proceeded to shove his son's feet off the desk, and began his lecture. "Francis, tomorrow is your wedding-"  
  
"Very astute observation, sir. I never would've guessed." The older man sent his son a fiery glare at the interruption, then continued with his speech.  
  
"Miss Rutherford is a lovely, polite young woman, and it is a privilege that you will be wed to such a fine lady. I know that you do not exactly see eye-to-eye with her-" Jack rolled his eyes at both his father's severe misjudge of character and at the blatant understatement, "-But nevertheless, you will be married tomorrow. And you will accept that fact. You are already a Duke, and the time has come that you will grow up and accept your responsibilities. And marriage will help with that."  
  
"This marriage was also a well-made arrangement between Sir Rutherford and myself. I needn't remind you of the new business alliance this marriage will build, and the wealth it will entail."  
  
'No need to remind me,' Jack thought bitterly. 'After all, isn't that the whole point of this?'  
  
His father's tone turned much more harsh as he warned his son. "If you upset this arrangement in any way, I will see to it that your life will be made as unpleasant as possible." This last part caught Jack's attention. He and his father never had really gotten along very well, and more often than not he was in hot water with his father over one of his latest tricks, but the older man had never openly threatened something like this before. And Jack had little doubt that he was capable of fulfilling his promise.  
  
However, if his father considered the life he was living right now to be "pleasant," Jack wondered what "unpleasant" would be like. 'Probably would be preferable to living with the Prude,' he thought to himself.  
  
Anyway, he had already made up his mind earlier that day about what was to be done. And his plan would be put into action that evening, despite anything his father had said.   
  
"Yessir," was all he said, as he tried to keep a straight face. The mental image of his father's expression when he would realize what had happened was almost too much to bear.  
  
"So, do not even think about playing any more pranks on Miss Prudence today," he said very threateningly to his son. Once again, Jack had a hard time not laughing at the thought of his and Marie's prank at Prudence's previous visit. He wondered how long it took her to realize that her teeth had turned black. Amazing how she did not even taste the ink that they had slipped in her tea. . .  
  
Once again, he could only manage a tight-lipped "Yessir," because any more words would surely be accompanied by a fit of hysterical laughter. And that, surely, would not at all please his father.  
  
The "man-to-man talk" was shortly interrupted by the entrance of a butler. "Excuse me, Sir, but the Rutherfords have arrived."  
  
"Thank you, Jenkins. We will be out shortly." As the butler exited the room, Jack and his father stood up and began to walk out to the parlor. Right before they opened the door, Sir Francis Sr. pointed a finger at his son's face and said sharply, "Remember what I said, boy." He then threw open the doors and the two walked out to greet the guests.  
  
'Here we go again,' Jack thought sarcastically as he stepped into the parlor for a final visit with his Ôfavorite' people.   
  
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"Sir Rutherford, Lady Rutherford, how good to see you again!" Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton III rushed up to greet his guests. He shook Sir Rutherford's hand heartily and gallantly kissed the chubby, bejeweled hand of Lady Rutherford. Jack wanted nothing more than to throw up at his father's sucking up.  
  
His father then turned to Prudence the Prude, whose nose, as always, was stuck high in the air, with a haughty look on her face. The fat girl was dressed in an incredibly frilly yellow dress, with ruffles and bows galore. Her ratty brown hair was done up in curls, an adorned by a gigantic yellow bow on the back of her head. Jack thought she looked like an overdecorated cake, or frilly drapery, or a mixture of the two. Her face, which was covered with typical seventeen-year-old pimples, was coated with an excessive amount of powder, eye coloring, and lip coloring. She wore her engagement ring over her white gloves, and was fanning herself vigorously with her lacy fan. She looked just about the same as she did two weeks ago when he last saw her; however, this time her mouth was not stained black.  
  
"Why, Miss Prudence, you look as lovely as ever." Once again, Jack's father elegantly kissed her hand, as she smiled arrogantly to herself. Jack looked over at Marie, who had an expression of disgust on her face.  
  
"Why thank you, Sir Stanton. It is a pleasure to see you again," the girl said in her most stuck-up voice, as she attempted a curtsy. She then turned her attention to Jack, and her expression changed to one of distaste. "Why, hello again, Francis," she said with a slightly turned-up nose.  
  
Jack was happy with just standing in the back corner and watching this scene take place, but his father gave him a nudge which he took to mean, 'You better go greet them, or else.' So he pulled back his shoulders, stuck his head high up, and walked with a stereotypical elegant gait over to his fiancZ. He performed an exaggerated bow, and kissed her proffered hand. "Good day, Miss Rutherford," he said, slightly mocking her arrogant tone. "So lovely to see you again. I am glad to see that you have recovered from your incident of. . . tooth decay," he said with a smirk, as Prudence shot him a fiery glare. Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw his sister sitting upon the sofa trying to stifle a laugh.  
  
This time, Prudence made no effort to hide her expression of distaste. "Why you miserable little worm!" she shouted, and delivered a surprisingly hard slap on Jack's cheek. The girl then turned to her father, ruffles and bows swishing, and gave him her best puppy dog look. He fell for it every time. "Father," she said, in her whiniest voice, "Make him stop being so rude to me!" Her thin, red-painted lips formed into a pathetic pout, and it was plain to see Sir Rutherford's hard stare soften. 'I do have to give her credit,' Jack thought to himself, 'She sure has that man wrapped around her finger.'  
  
Sir Rutherford looked as if he had no idea what to do. His chubby face twisted into a mixture of confusion and dismay at seeing his beloved daughter upset. He wanted to appease her, which he spent much of his time doing, but he did not feel right about disciplining his daughter's fiance. So, in a slightly nervous voice, he said, "Don't worry, sweetheart. How about I buy you a new lace shawl on the way home?" Prudence smiled sweetly and Sir Rutherford looked relieved.  
  
Sir Francis now stepped in to mediate the situation. "Why don't we go to the dining room for tea?" he suggested as he ushered the three guests through the parlor doors. Marie and Lady Stanton followed the Rutherfords, where they all took a seat at the extremely long table. Before Jack could follow them in, however, his father grabbed his shoulder and pulled him aside. "No more of that behavior, do you hear me?" he asked harshly.  
  
"O'course not, sir," Jack answered in the most dutiful voice he could manage. However, right now he only wanted to explode from frustration. The Prude was obviously acting like her typical self today, and it was enough to drive anybody crazy. Life would not be fun if he did actually marry her.  
  
However, Jack did have in mind a master plan of escape; one that would ensue this very evening. It would, indeed, work out very well, if all went according to plan. He would escape marrying Prudence and start a completely new life: the kind of life he always wanted to live.  
  
But before he was to "disappear," Jack wanted to see to it that Prudence the Prude would meet a terribly embarrassing end. 'This is going to be interesting,' he thought as he smirked to himself.  
  
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Jack and his father entered the dining room. Sir Rutherford was seated at one of the host seats, and Sir Stanton quickly took his place in the other. Next to Sir Rutherford was seated his wife, and next to her was Lady Stanton. On the opposite side of the table, Marie was seated, and there were two other empty chairs. Behind one of those chairs stood Prudence, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently. "Francis, pull out my chair for me," she commanded.  
  
Jack sneered at her. Who does she think she is, anyway? Stupid brat cannot even seat herself. "Why should I? Can't do it yourself?" he asked, both for self-satisfaction and to see her reaction.  
  
Her chubby face turned red with anger as her stubby sausage fingers curled into tight fists. "I SAID," she nearly yelled, "Pull out my chair for me!"  
  
As he was about to make another sarcastic refusal, Jack saw his father send him a warning glare. For the sake of keeping peace, he sauntered over and pulled the chair out from the table. Prudence and her gigantic dress walked daintily in front of the chair. But as soon as she began squatting down to seat herself, Jack "accidentally" knocked the chair over, and Prudence found herself seated on the floor with a gigantic thud. Everyone gasped, and Sir Rutherford and Sir Stanton immediately rushed over to help her up.  
  
"Well, I'll never!" Prudence said in annoyance as the two older men helped her to her feet. She stood up and attempted in vain to smooth her rumpled appearance. She turned around to look at Jack, with the fires of wrath blazing in her eyes. "Francis Stanton, I demand an apology immediately!"  
  
"I'm terribly sorry about that," Jack said, in as serious a voice as he could manage. It sure took a lot of willpower not to burst out in laughter, though.  
  
Once the incident had passed, everyone took their seats at the table once again. Jack noticed the glares that were being sent to him from his mother and father, as well as the Rutherfords, but he did not care in the least. When he sat down, his sister nudged him with her elbow and whispered, "That was brilliant." The siblings always enjoyed playing tricks on the Prude, even if it was thought by some to be a bit immature.  
  
A few butlers now entered the room with trays of sandwiches, scones, and pastries, as well as teapots full of piping hot English afternoon tea. As soon as the trays of food were set on the table, Prudence immediately filled her plate with four eclairs, three scones, a strawberry tart, and two cucumber sandwiches. By the time a butler had poured her tea, one eclair was already gone, and she was chewing on her sandwich in a most unsavory fashion. As their parents conversed with the Rutherfords about such things as land, money, and servants, Jack and Marie sat quietly sipping their tea while watching, wide-eyed, the eating spectacle unfold.  
  
The conversation was suddenly stopped when a loud, frustrated groan escaped Prudence's mouth as she proceeded to hurl a half-eaten scone across the room at Sally, one of the maids. "You imbecile!" the Prude yelled at the woman, who was bending down to pick up the mess. "I specifically asked for raspberry jam, and you gave me strawberry! This is an outrage!" She stood up and stamped her foot to emphasize the point, as Sally rushed over to her side.  
  
"S'sorry, m'lady," she said as she took Prudence's plate. "Shall I prepare you another?" Sally had been working for the family since Jack was only a small boy, and they had become friends over the years. So it was that Jack could see through her subservient facade, and know that the woman really wanted nothing more than to strangle the brat. Which wouldn't bother him in the least.  
  
So Jack decided to relieve Sally of her duties of appeasing the Prude. "Miss Rutherford," he mumbled while standing up, "Would you care to join me on a walk through the garden?" When he first saw his sister raise an eyebrow at him, he thought to himself, 'What on Earth am I doing?' But seeing Sally, with grateful eyes, mouth "Thank you" to him as Prudence stood and took his elbow justified his out-of-character actions.   
  
Prudence gave him a distasteful smirk as she stood and took his elbow. "Why, that would be delightful, Mr. Stanton," she said, in a less-than-enthusiastic tone. "It shall save me the bother of having to deal with the incompetent help you have around here." Jack saw Sally's face redden and twist from anger as he and Prudence walked out the back door, into the garden. He only hoped that he could resist throttling the bitch until they returned._

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How was that? Not the most humorous chapter in the story, but it had to be done. So, what is next? How will Jack escape his wedding to the Prude? And what will this "terribly embarrassing end" entail for our dear twitch Prudence? Tune in next time to see!  
Now, click that "submit review" button. I know you want to. . . 


	5. The Drunken Prude and the Great Escape

Hello my fair readers! I am back and terribly sorry for the delay, my muses pooped out on me for a while there. But they recently returned in full force, so I decided to treat you to an extra long chapter: 14 pages on word!   
But I really must thank all those who reviewed. You all are so great, and inspire me to keep this story going! So a big thank you to nychick8990, Kungfuchick, FalconWing, CommodoreJewlz, heavenxleigh, pippinlotrfrek, Tina, Lostelvengurl, Oneiriad, Jeff's favourite skittle, dshael, chumbawumbawootwoot (love that name!), superdork10, RoXySuRfEr12, noviceangel, RaineArilan, Andrea, Lauren, PirateWench5309, SparrowPiratess, and jeska. You all are my idols, and as a thank you present, I would personally like to present to you. . . Your very own Captain Jack Sparrow clone! Have fun with him, and enjoy the chapter! This one concludes the backstory, and we will get back to King Sparrow now.

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**Chapter 5**  
  
_Dark clouds were just beginning to intrude on the otherwise blue sky as Jack and his soon-to-be wife strolled through the vast extense of gardens that surrounded the Stanton estate. Jack thought it seemed as though he had been walking for hours, Prude attached to his arm, listening to her endless drabble of mindless chatter and complaints. Although, "listening" would not be the correct term for what he had been doing for the last, oh, twenty minutes. He was more or less daydreaming, and saying "Oh yes," or "Of course" every few minutes just to appease the yellow-dressed devil whose arm was linked in his, as a gesture purely of chivalry. In his daydreams, Jack was mostly thinking about the genius of his planned escape, which he would need to pull off tonight if it was to work, but he was also silently plotting a few last pranks to pull on old Prudence  
  
". . . house is, well, a bit small. I mean really! Only 16 bedrooms! I'd think your father would be able to afford something more livable than that. Honestly, I will positively die of claustrophobia! Francis, you really must speak to your father about these despicable arrangements. . ." 'Cry me a river,' Jack thought to himself.  
  
Francis. What a God-awful name that was, he thought; it sounded especially worse when Prudence said it in her whiny, nagging voice. He couldn't help but think that he could not resist the urge to strangle her if he heard her croon in her screechy voice, "FRAN-cis," one more time while registering another complaint. So Jack decided to fix the problem. "Call me Jack," he interrupted her. "I hate being called 'Francis,' and most people just call me 'Jack.' Well, except for my parents, that is."   
  
Prudence's quick-stepped gait stopped suddenly, and she looked at him with repugnance. "Jack," she sneered, "That is such a. . . common name. No, I shall call you 'Francis,' if you please." She took his arm again, threw back her shoulders, and continued her excessive hip-swaying as she walked along.  
  
As the continued on their stroll, the Stanton mansion grew further and further away, until it was merely a small rectangle off in the distance. The sky was quickly darkening now, and the backs of the leaves were visible: a sure sign of an impending storm. "I think we should go on back now," Jack suggested, inspecting the sky.  
  
Prudence, too, observed the weather, then hastily turned around in her path. "Yes, let us head back." They began the long stroll back to the house.   
  
As they were walking, Jack looked up at the sky and noticed a small bird flying about their heads. A sparrow, it looked to be. 'Lucky little bugger,' he thought to himself. 'Can do whatever he wants, go where he wants to go, and not be forced to hang around with spoiled brats.' As if the sparrow had read his thoughts, the small bird swooped down and released a giant stream of white poop right on Prudence's head. As she screamed and grabbed angrily at her head, Jack could not resist laughing any longer.  
  
"WELL, I'LL NEVER! FRANCIS STANTON! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" the girl shrieked hysterically as she pulled one of her hands from the top of her head. When she looked at it and saw white goop smeared across her fingers, she held her arm out to her side as far as she could, while crying into her other hand. Jack was still dying of laughter while he offered her his handkerchief. She quickly snatched it and wiped off her hand and head, then turned quickly and delivered a sharp slap to Jack's face. Caught completely off-guard, Jack stepped back a few feet and brought a hand up to his now-red cheek.  
  
"Now was that really necessary, love?" he asked, rubbing his face.  
  
"You know it is, Francis Stanton!" She was seething with anger, and Jack was not sure if it was because of the poop, or because of his laughter. But he just couldn't help himself! She did have it coming. Prudence dropped the now sticky handkerchief onto the walkway, grabbed up her masses of skirts, and stomped down the path angrily.   
  
Not really in the mood to go appease her, Jack continued a slow swagger down the path after her. His feathered comrade once again appeared and flew gracefully past him. Jack stopped to raised his hand to his head in a salute to the small sparrow, then continued his Prude-chasing.  
  
He heard Prudence let out a squeal as a streak of lightning lit up the dark sky. Seconds later, a deafening boom of thunder sounded, and rain began to pour from the sky. The two were still a good distance away from the house, but the stables were only a few feet away. Jack grabbed Prudence's arm and dragged her into the wooden structure.  
  
"We'll wait here 'till the storm passes," he said, as he lit a lantern hanging on the wall. Once the light was present, Jack could see the Prude turning up her nose at her surroundings. She took a few more steps into the barn, but decided to go no further. Jack really cared less what she did, as long as she was not being a nuisance.   
  
Jack walked further into the building and turned down the long walkway lined with dozens of stalls, all of which contained rather frightened horses. He continued down the hallway, then turned into a storage room in the back. After digging around for a few minutes in the straw that covered the ground, he pulled up a floorboard to reveal a hidden compartment, which currently contained a large glass bottle filled with a questionable substance: rum. Jack had a secret penchant toward this foreign drink, and always stashed his secret supply in this particular hiding spot so there would be no chance of his father finding it. After all, the elder Sir Francis would be probably the last person on Earth who would be found in the stables: much too smelly and unclean for his tastes.  
  
Jack pulled out the bottle and was pleased to find that it was still mostly full. He had purchased this bottle quite a while ago, from some questionable merchants down at the docks. He figured that if he would be forced to sit in this building with the Prude for an undefined amount of time, he would definitely need a few drinks.  
  
Of course, so might Prudence.  
  
Now that would be interesting. . .  
  
Just the thought of a drunken Prudence was enough to make Jack snigger. But maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. . .  
  
"Fran-CIS! Whatever are you doing back in that filth?"   
  
'Speak of the devil,' Jack thought as he saw his wife-to-be standing in the doorway to the storage room, arms crossed. She wrinkled her nose quite blatantly to show her disgust at the smell. As she surveyed the small room in distaste, she noticed the bottle in Jack's hand. "Now what, may I ask, is that?"  
  
An idea popped into Jack's head. He knew Prudence was about as intelligent as she was skinny, which was not saying much for her brain capacity. So he began. "This?" he asked, pointing to the bottle. "This is something very, very powerful. And if I tell you, you must tell nobody else." He could see her eyes light up at the mention of a secret. 'Poor, sheltered sod, can't even recognize alcohol when it's staring her in the face,' he thought.  
  
Prudence became very curious at Jack's words. Whatever was in the bottle must be very special for it to be so secretive. Despite her utter dislike for her fiance, she had to make him tell her what the substance was. She stepped across the room and sat down on a crate in the corner, folding her hands neatly in her lap, trying to be as lady-like as possible, despite the unpleasureable circumstances. "Please continue, Francis. I shall tell no one."  
  
Jack was almost laughing at the girl. She really had no idea! Much more fun for him. "This," he began, waving the bottle dramatically, "This was given to me by a very old, blind soothsayer down at the town market. He said that he received it as a gift from a certain Fairy Queen down in Timbuktu." He smiled as he saw that Prudence was entranced by his utterly false story. "Now this soothsayer, he was in Timbuktu, out in the jungles, collectin' more herbs for his practices, when he came across this fairy village. And what was happening was completely terrible, he told me."  
  
"What? What happened?" Prudence demanded as Jack paused from his storytelling for a second, amused at her gullibility.  
  
"The fairy village was being attacked by a dragon! Huge, fire-breathin' beast, it was. And the old man, you know what he did? He waved around his arms like this," he put down the rum and waved his arms wildly above his head, demonstrating the motion, "And huge lightning bolts shot from the sky, and killed the dragon!"  
  
Prudence's eyes narrowed. "Now Francis Stanton, I am not sure that I should believe you or not," she said suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, but it's all true! Heard it with my own two ears, I did."   
  
Prudence seemed to accept Jack's protest. "All right. So the fairys gave the soothsayer this stuff as thanks?"  
  
"That's right."   
  
"So what is it?" Prudence demanded impatiently.  
  
Jack picked up the bottle and held it in the air. "This is a potion that, when drunk, will make the drinker the most beautiful, intelligent person on earth."  
  
Prudence's eyes widened and her jaw dropped at this prosepct. Of course, she was already beautiful and extremely intelligent, she thought, but what could a little more hurt? She quickly snatched the bottle from Jack's hands and took a big swig. The taste of the brown liquid was a bit vile, and it sent a burn down her throat and made her eyes tear up. "Oh, yuck!" she said hoarsely after the first swallow. But, of course, if the potion worked, it would be well worth it.  
  
Jack smiled to himself, this was going just as he hoped. He now decided to protest weakly, just to egg her on. "Oh no, Prudence, you just ruined everything! Now I can't even use my potion!"  
  
Prudence looked up from her second swig in curiousity. Surely there would be enough for him left over, after she was through. "Why not?"  
  
"Because," Jack smiled, "The only way for the potion to work is for the drinker to drink the entire bottle! And now you have already started it!"  
  
"Well, I might as well finish it too," she said snobbily, then raised the bottle to her lips for another big swig.  
  
'Perfect,' Jack thought, very pleased with himself as he sat back against the wall to watch the drinking wonder before him.   
  
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The bottle was now two-thirds empty, and Prudence was still going strong, despite her obvious lack of motor skills. As she tried to take another drink, she spilled some more rum down the front of her dress. "Oh bother!" she slurred as she handed Jack the bottle. Grabbing at the shelves on the wall, she pulled herself up to a wobbling stand, then looked down at her rum-soaked dress. "D'ya think tha' th' stuff'll still work?"  
  
Jack looked at the bottle as if examining it, then replied, "Oh yes, I believe it will." This was one of the most entertaining sights he had ever seen before. Quite amusing to watch this priss drink herself silly. 'Too bad Marie isn't here,' he thought.  
  
Prudence now ventured a couple wobbly steps across the storage room to the doorway. "Funny," she said, "This potion makes m' feel ver' odd," she said slowly, then let out a tremendous, drunken laugh as she grabbed onto the doorframe for support. She held out a hand toward Jack, and he put the "potion" back in it. She held it up to her face, then addressed it. "How 'bout we go for a li'l stroll while I fin'sh ya? Alri'?" The bottle seemed to think this was a good idea, so the two exited the closet, Prudence swigging from her companion.   
  
Jack stood up and followed behind the wobbling figure. Taking another long drink, Prudence strolled up to one of the horses. She examined it closely, squinting her eyes. "Now Francis," she said to the black horse, "Why're you wearin' those funny clothes? Take off tha' bloody corset, i's mine!" As soon as she finished speaking, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she ungracefully slumped to the floor. Unfortunately, she landed in the manure pile. Now, Jack could not refrain from laughing his head off.  
  
But now it was time to put his escape plan into action. "So long, Prudence Rutherford!" he called as he saluted the unconscious drunk on the ground. He grabbed the bottle and threw it back into the storage room, satisfied to hear it shatter and the evidence destroyed, then turned and ran out the stable doors, towards his house.  
  
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Almost two hours had passed since the time Jack and Prudence had left for their stroll, and Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton III was beginning to become a bit worried as to their whereabouts. A large thunderstorm had hit while they were out, and it had ended about a quarter hour ago. Francis figured that the two probably took shelter in the stables during the storm, but he did wish that they would hasten back to the house. There was much to be done yet.  
  
So he decided to send someone to find them. "Jenkins!" he called, as his trusty butler rushed into the room.  
  
"You called, sir?"  
  
"Would you go to the stables and see if Francis and Prudence are there? Please tell them that we expect them back as soon as possible."  
  
"My pleasure, sir." Jenkins walked out the back doors of the house, through the garden, across the field, and into the stable. But what the saw when he arrived was quite a shock.  
  
Upon first entering the stables, Jenkins did not see a soul in sight. But when he walked farther in, he discovered an unconscious Miss Rutherford lying on the manure pile, reeking of rum. However, next to her was an envelope, addressed in a quick, untidy scrawl to "Sir Francis Stanton III."   
  
"Wha's goin' on?" Jenkins jumped a foot in the air, startled as Prudence Rutherford awoke into a drunken stupor. The girl looked around wide-eyed, then smiled to herself. "Am I beautiful?"  
  
Jenkins wasn't quite sure how to go about answering this question. "Well. . . of course you are, Miss Rutherford." She grinned at him. "Now, why don't we get you back to the house." He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. He then picked up the letter, and the two began a slow walk back to the house.  
  
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"Prudence! What on Earth happened?" Sir Rutherford was quite dismayed at the sight of his daughter when she entered the door with the butler. She was swaying heavily as she walked, and her dress was covered in brown filth, which smelled up the entire room.  
  
"Father! I'm now th' most beeyoutiful girl in th' whole world!" Prudence shouted happily as she walked up to her parents. They both looked at her, wide-eyed, then looked to the butler for an explanation, as did the Stantons. However, Marie couldn't help but laugh quietly at the Prude. This surely had been her brother's doing, and boy, was it genius.  
  
A very out-of-breath Jenkins walked up to Sir Stanton and handed him the envelope. "I went to the barn, and I found Miss Rutherford unconscious and smelling of rum, as well as this letter! But your son was nowhere in sight."   
  
Sir Stanton grabbed the letter from his butler and said, "Thank you, Jenkins. Now why don't you show Miss Rutherford upstairs, and perhaps get one of the maids to assist her in bathing?" Jenkins did as he was instructed, steadying Prudence by grabbing her arm as they walked up the stairs, the drunken girl chattering about some nonsense of a potion and a soothsayer and a fairy kingdom.  
  
Sir Stanton sat down in the parlor on the sofa, as the othe four occupants of the room gathered around him to see what the letter said. The man opened the envelope and pulled out a small piece of parchment, covered in a hasty scrawl. But the words shocked him.  
  
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Sir Stanton:  
  
If you ever want to see your son again, please deliver 100 pounds to the Ten Bells tavern by eight o'clock. Leave the money behind the bush in front of the building. If you comply, your son will be safely delivered to your estate by midnight. If you do not, he will be executed. We hope that you will cooperate.  
  
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"Oh Francis, whateve are we to do!" Lady Stanton was nearly in tears after hearing what the ransom note said. "We must save our son!"  
  
"Of course we will, dear." Sir Francis Stanton was extremely angry about this entire situation. How dare anybody use his wealth for ransom money, muchless kidnap his only son on the eve of his wedding?  
  
Marie Stanton sat quietly in a chair in the corner. She was not sure of what to make of this whole situation. It may be true, but she had a sneaking suspicion that this was the escape that her brother hinted at earlier that day. She hoped it was the latter, and felt confident that this was Jack's escape. Very smart to collect some extra money from father before he left to wherever he was going, too.  
  
"I shall go and prepare the money, then make way to this tavern. Jenkins!"  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"Please prepare my carriage for departure in a few minutes."  
  
"Of course, sir." With that, the butler left the room to fulfill his orders. Sir Stanton rushed into his study, with a very worried Lady Stanton trailing behind. The Rutherfords, albeit worried about their daughter's fiance, were more concerned about said darling daughter, and were shown upstairs to dote upon her even more, if that was possible.  
  
In the study, Sir Stanton hastily made way to a secret panel in the bookshelves, behind which was the family safe, where he kept much of their riches. He was furious at the amount of money the kidnappers were asking for. One hundred pounds? Even for him, that was quite a sum. He found a leather purse, and began filling it with gold coins.  
  
While her husband was counting out the ransom money, Lady Beatrice Stanton was sitting in one of the armchairs, sobbing. "How could they take my son!" she cried. Her husband just shook his head, wishing that she would stop the drama. But another thought hit the woman. "Francis?"  
  
"What, Beatrice?" her husband answered, quite annoyed.  
  
"What if they don't bring him back, even if we give them the money? What if. . ." She stopped her choked talking, then burst into another bout of hysterics.  
  
Her husband made a feeble attempt to comfort the crying woman. "It's alright, dear," he said gently, walking over to her and touching her arm. "Francis will be just fine, I am sure." But now he needed to get going to the Ten Bells, if there was any chance of seeing their son again. Nighttime was fast approaching, and it was a long ride into the heart of town, especially to the area where he could find all the seedy taverns. "Darling, I must be going," he said as he walked to the front door, where his carriage awaited him. He climbed in, and they took off, making haste to reach the tavern before eight.  
  
----------------  
  
All the drama and hysterics of her mother was too much for Marie to handle, so she quickly retired to her bedroom. The Rutherfords had left soon after her father, wishing luck for her brother's well-being. Then, they were off to buy the Prude a brand new dress, since hers was unfortunately ruined by horse manure. How Jack got her to drink that much rum, she had no idea, but was it ever funny!  
  
Jack. Marie was not quite sure what to make of the whole situation. She was pretty sure that this was his own doing, but then she thought that he did not plan to leave until tonight. It was hard to say.  
  
However, her questions were all answered by a letter she found on her desk.  
  
------------------  
  
Marie,  
  
I wrote this just to say goodbye. As you probably know, I've been "kidnapped," and can pretty much assure you that even if Dad sends the money, I will not be "returned" at midnight. I am not sure what I'll be doing now. I'll probably take a ship to another place. Perhaps France, or maybe even out to the New World. I do not know when I will next see you, so I felt the need to give a farewell. You'll be in my thoughts often, and I will miss your company greatly. Just don't worry about old Jack. Trust me, I'll be just fine. And please don't tell the parents about what I'm really up to. I would prefer for them to think me dead, rather than possibly finding me.  
  
All my love, Jack  
  
PS: Send my regards to the Prude, and tell her that I hope she will recover well from her hangover.  
  
------------------  
  
Marie smiled at her brother's words. Of course this was his plan! Silly of her to doubt him. But she was sad that she may not see him for a long time, or perhaps ever again. She was trying her best to do as he instructed and not worry about him, but it was difficult. He got himself into enough problems just here around the house, who knows what conflicts could arise out in the world of sailors?  
  
But no need to worry. He can take care of himself.  
  
"Good luck, Jack," she whispered into the night sky, then folded up the letter and hid it away.  
  
-----------------  
  
Sir Stanton scoffed at his surroundings. He never particularly enjoyed venturing into the heart of Devonshire, but he especially disliked this part of town. Plus, it was night. Not a good combination. As the carriage stopped, he saw the Ten Bells tavern in front of him, surrounded by drunken sailors and dirty, half-dressed prostitutes. He carefully made his way out of the carriage and towards the bushes in front of the building, where he was expected to deliver the money. Careful to ward of all approaching harlots, who could see that he was obviously dripping with wealth, he backed up to the bushes, and dropped the purse of money inconspicuously behind his back. Hopefully nobody saw that and would take it, he thought.  
  
Now, it was time to return to his home and await his son's delivery. If they would return him at all. He hoped they would, because the boy could prove very valuable when married to Miss Rutherford.   
  
He climbed back in the carriage and instructed the driver to take him home. They sped away, leaving all the prostitutes disappointed and all the drunks in wonder.  
  
----------------  
  
As soon as he heard the thud of the money bag and his father's footsteps walking toward the carriage, Jack became excited. He really did not expect the man to pay up! Lucky for him, now he was one hundred pounds richer! Another factor of his luck was that his father did not take the time to look behind the bush, which just happened to be where Jack was hiding. He crawled over to the leather drawstring bag, and opened it to find it filled with gold pieces. Luck sure was on his side today.  
  
Before he left, he had gone to his room to change into more practical clothes, and to grab his sword. While there, he grabbed what few coins he had lying around his room, just in case his dear father did not pay up. But now, his worries were over. Jack quickly took the bag and emptied most of the coins into his boots, to prevent any pickpocketing. He left a few coins in the purse, then tied it to his belt.  
  
Now, he just had to find a ship.  
  
He walked down to the docks and looked around at the multitude of ships that were harbored there. He was willing to go with anyone to anyplace, even on a pirate ship. 'Actually,' he thought, 'Especially on a pirate ship.' He did need some excitement in his dull life, after all.   
  
Out of all the ships moored to the docks, one in particular caught his eye. This one, unlike all the brightly-painted ships, was pure black, which shone beautifully in the moonlight. And instead of having pristine white sails, the sails on this particular ship were black, to match the rest of the paint job. There was just something about this certain ship that called to him. Perhaps its beauty, or the mysteriousness of it. Or perhaps the strong scent of rum that permeated from its decks. Or, most likely, a combination of the three.  
  
Jack sauntered down the decks and toward the gangplank of the black ship. As he was just about to start climbing up, a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind him and spun him around. After he was turned, he was surprised to see an older man with a gray beard, dressed in well-worn clothing. He looked like a pirate. However, he did not seem to be vicious and depraved, like the stories said. He actually had a glint of kindness shining in his eye. He questioned Jack, "Whoa there, laddie, where ye be goin?"  
  
Jack decided to tell him the truth. "Well, I was just tryin' to find the cap'n of this ship. I was hopin' I could possibly barter passage, or even stay onboard as a shiphand." Becoming a member of the crew would be almost better, actually. He really didn't have anyplace to go once he reached his destination.  
  
The captain was silent as he looked over Jack from head to toe, doing what seemed to be a visual inspection of the young, dark-haired man before him. The lad looked like he would have the makings of a good pirate, although he was most likely a bit wet behind the ears at the sailing bit. However, he looked strong and fairly intelligent, so he would learn quickly. Plus, after the recent battle the ship had, they were needing some replacement crewmembers. He then smiled and spoke, "Well, boy, where ye be headin'?"  
  
Jack thought this over for a second. He really had no idea where he was going. He only knew that he wanted to be anywhere other than here. "Wherever you're goin', sir."  
  
The older man smiled, then resumed his questioning. "We're from out in the Caribbean, son. Now, we have a few open spots on our crew, and could be usin' a strong young lad like yerself. Tell me, lad, d'ye have any skill with th' sword?"  
  
"Yeah, I do," Jack replied, silently thanking his father for making him practice fencing for hours and hours every day.  
  
"That's good. But I must tell ye, lad, me an' me crew, we're not th' most. . . honest of folk, if ye know what I mean." Jack knew he was trying to say that the ship was a pirate ship, and he nodded. "Now that wouldn't bother ye, would it?"  
  
"O'course not, sir. I just want out."   
  
"Well boy, we'd be glad to have ye aboard. What be yer name?"  
  
'Damnit,' Jack thought, 'How could I forget to make up a name?' He was searching his mind for a new alias, when outside another tavern, a plump woman dressed in yellow rushed out, shouting, "Well, I'll never! That was not funny!" If he hadn't known better, he would've thought the woman to be Prudence after the sparrow had pooped upon her head.  
  
Sparrow. There we go. "My name's Sparrow. Jack Sparrow, at yer service."  
  
The man stuck out his dirty hand, and Jack shook it. "Well, Jack Sparrow, I am Captain Wellesley. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl."  
  
----------------------  
  
". . . So I followed the Captain up the gangplank to begin me new life as the charming scallywag you know today." Captain Jack Sparrow, who was seated on a crate on the deck of the Black Pearl, looked around to see both his crew and a number of navymen staring at him in great interest, completely enthralled by his story. He suspected that the Navy was just still surprised that he was, indeed, a royal. However, his crew was most likely surprised that their captain actually told them a true story about his past: a rare occasion indeed. It took several seconds after he concluded for anyone to speak.  
  
Said speaker was the Commodore, who was trying his best to look disinterested at the pirate's story. "Well, Mister Sparrow, that is quite a tale."  
  
"Yep, it is, Commodore. And all true, too." Jack grinned at him as Norrington did his best to look disinterested. But even he was surprised at the pirate captain's tale. He couldn't blame him for wanting to leave England. That Prudence sounded like a real treat.  
  
"Now, Mister Sparrow," Jack coughed and gave him the evil eye, "Erm, Your Majesty, I would appreciate if you would board the Dauntless so we can begin making way to Port Royale as soon as possible."  
  
"And what of my ship an' crew?"  
  
"They are free to go," Norrington answered the new King.  
  
"Alright, I s'pose I best be goin', before these men try to stretch my neck," Jack addressed his crew. "Anamaria will be your captain until further notice. I s'pose I shall be in jolly ol' London in a few weeks," he said, giving his crew a meaningful look.  
  
As their captain was being escorted onto the navy ship, the dumbfounded pirates just stared. Only Anamaria, the provisional captain, could find words. "Captain, what about you?" she asked, knowing that Jack wouldn't settle for being away from his Pearl for too long.  
  
"Keep to the code," he said with a wink, and Anamaria understood him completely. Jack turned to salute his crew before being led across the plank between the ships, to be taken off to Port Royal.

* * *

Phew! That was long! How'd you like that?? Let me know by sending a nice little review, then you can get your very own Captain Jack Sparrow clone, too!  
Anyway, remember to tune in next time to see Jack's grand entrance into Port Royal, and even perhaps his welcoming ball at the Governor's mansion! Now that should be interesting. . .  
See you next time! _


	6. Commodore Jimbo Norrington

Hello once again! I hope you all are enjoying your Jack clones; I know I am! ;) Thank you all very, very much for your lovely reviews. Now, we are back to the main story. This chapter isn't really one of my favorites: it isn't really as funny as the other ones had been (or at least I hoped they had been), but it had to be done. It is pretty long, though: 10 pages on Word! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**  
  
Onboard the Dauntless, the new King of England watched somewhat sadly as his beloved ship sailed out into the ocean without him. The Black Pearl, after all, was his home, as well as his freedom. If Jack Sparrow had a choice to accept the throne or not, he would most definitely declined the job. But, "choice" was the key word there. He did not have a choice, and if he chose to decline, he and his crew would have all been taken prisoner and hung for piracy. And he would just not let that happen.  
  
So it was, that Captain Jack Sparrow, infamous captain of the fearsome Black Pearl, formerly Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV, Duke of Worcester, became the most powerful man in the entire world.   
  
Being a King did have its positives, Jack supposed. Like that little dancing episode earlier that day, for example. Just the thought brought a smile to the pirate's face, clearly displaying his numerous golden teeth. He was trying to think up more orders for the Navymen when he was approached by none other than the Commodore.  
  
After ordering his men to set sail for Port Royal, James Norrington thought it to be in good interest to locate their new leader, both to brief him on the events after their arrival in Port Royal and to keep him out of too much mischief. Norrington shuddered at the thought of the havoc the mad pirate could wreak when there were no penalties.   
  
But currently, said mad pirate was leaning over the port side railing of the ship, staring off into the distance at the Black Pearl. Norrington walked over and stood next to him, staring in the same direction. The pirate turned briefly to look at the Commodore, then stood up straight to face the man. "Is there somethin' you'd be wanting, my dearest Commodore?" he inquired with a grin.  
  
Norrington frowned slightly at the "king's" mouthful of gold. That surely would not look good when meeting some of England's highest aristocrats. But he would worry about that later. "Your Majesty," he began sarcastically. He couldn't help but smile in spite of himself to see Sparrow's grin widen. The whole situation was just so completely bizarre that to keep any sanity, one almost had to find it humorous. "Would you please accompany me into my office so I could brief you on the events after your arrival?"  
  
Jack took a gaze at the sea, then answered, "Why of course I would, Jimbo." He stifled a laugh to see the Commodore's cheeks redden with anger as his eyes narrowed and lips tightened.   
  
"Mr. Sparrow, you will address me as 'Commodore Norrington.'" Jimbo. What a sickening nickname, Norrington thought.   
  
"Jimbo, you will address me as 'Your Majesty,' and I'll address you however I want, savvy?" Jack replied, mimicking the Commodore's tone. Commodore James "Jimbo" Norrington was one of the most fun people to bother, Jack had discovered over time. And now, there was no way he could stop him.   
  
Norrington closed his eyes and let out a deep, irritated breath. He really did not have much power over Sparrow now, and that was a bit disconcerting. "All right, your Majesty," he said in a mocking tone, "But do keep in mind that your powers may be revoked if you cross the line too far, and then the crown will have no other option but to hang you for your crimes."   
  
And what he said was true. There had been many meetings of the navy to discuss the unique circumstances of the heir to the throne. One decision was that the King's identity as Jack Sparrow would not be revealed to the public. Actually, only the Commodore and a few other high-ranking naval officers knew that Sir Stanton was now Jack Sparrow. Well, of course, so did the crew of the Dauntless, now that they had heard Sparrow's tale. Not even Governor Swann knew of this fact, as they were trying to restrict the information to Naval officials only. Another decision made was that they would, indeed, allow Sparrow to accept the crown, as long as he agreed to use his powers in moderation. If he took too much advantage of his authority, then they had the power to remove him from office. This delicate balance of power would prove to be very interesting indeed.  
  
"Anyway, please follow me into my office so we can discuss the coming events." Jack, who could hear the annoyed tone of the other man's voice, decided he best not push the envelope, and followed Norrington as he entered the doors to his office. Inside, there was a very large, well-kept room complete with many maps, bookshelves, and a large cherrywood desk in the center. The Commodore took his place behind the desk as Jack proceeded to walk around the room, pulling out books and flipping through them, picking up various knickknacks and examining them. As he was about to slip a small jade statue into his coat pocket, Norrington called loudly, "Your Majesty, please sit."  
  
Giving an annoyed sigh, Jack put the statue back on the shelf. "Why thank you, Jimbo," he said as he sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk, propping his feet up on the desktop. He grinned as Norrington rolled his eyes.   
  
The Commodore, already much annoyed with his new king, began his speech. "When we dock at Port Royal in an hour or two, you will be meeting with Admiral Aston. He's the one whom the letter you read was written by. He is the man who was put in charge of locating you and returning you to England. After you meet with the Admiral, we will escort you to the Governor's mansion, where you will be residing until we leave for England."  
  
Throughout the Commodore's directions, Jack had been paying more attention to the twiddling of his thumbs than to the Commodore's words. But after hearing that he'd be staying at the Governor's house, he perked up. He hadn't even thought of what Will and Elizabeth would say. He didn't even know if they knew he was King or not. "Do they- do they know?" he asked, and the Commodore fully understood what his vague question meant.  
  
"No, Miss Swann and Mr. Turner are not aware that you are King. Due to the. . . sensitivity of the pirate situation here, only a few Naval men know that Jack Sparrow is Francis Stanton."  
  
Jack raised a finger. "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow."  
  
Norrington once again rolled his eyes and disregarded the interruption. "It would not be too well taken by the citizens of the Crown if they found out that their new King was a pirate. Therefore, you, Captain Sparrow, must do your best to clean up and act as a law-abiding citizen."  
  
Now Jack really did not like the sound of this. Clean up? As in. . . _take a bath?!_ Surely nobody could force the King of England to bathe, or brush his hair, or even worse. . . shave. Could they?  
  
Before the King could inquire in regards to the much-loathed bath taking, Norrington continued revealing the plan for the new King. "You will have a bit of time to settle into the Governor's estate, and this evening, a royal ball will be held in your honor to introduce Port Royal to their new King." The Commodore thought it ironic that if two months ago, if anyone had suggested throwing a ball in Jack Sparrow's honor, most people would have thought him mad.  
  
But Jack just thought the whole event amusing. "A ball? Just for li'l ol' Jack? Why Jimbo, you shouldn't have! If I would've known, I would've brought me good coat from the Pearl.  
  
"It is the Governor who is throwing the ball, your Majesty. And in regards to your wardrobe, we will get you cleaned up for the party, don't worry." 'Jimbo' smiled at seeing Sparrow grimace. It was obvious that the man was not terribly fond of bathing, simply by his odor.  
  
"Now Commodore, that really isn't necessary. Y'see, I just took a swim in th' ocean last week! That should cover me in th' bathing department for a while."  
  
"Oh, but your Majesty," Norrington said sarcastically, "We want you to look especially nice this evening. Not only will you be getting a bath, but a shave, a haircut, some nice clothes. . ."   
  
"Ye'll not touch me hair! Or me beard! Or I'll have you placed under arrest!" Jack was quite upset at the prospect of being "cleaned up." He was the King, after all; who were they to say how he had to look?  
  
But that Commodore, he only laughed at his King's threats. "By whom, your Majesty? Am I to arrest myself? I am the highest authority in Port Royal, after the Governor, that is. And do keep in mind that you must pass as a respectable gentleman in order to become King."  
  
Jack just sneered at the man's "insolence." How dare he speak to the King that way? But his words were true. "Fine, Jimbo," he said in an annoyed tone as he stood up and walked to the door that led to the deck. "Well, I'll be leaving now.  
  
"Don't get yourself into too much trouble, Mr. Sparrow," the Commodore called after the exiting pirate. "We'll be arriving in Port Royal shortly."  
  
-----------------  
  
As he stood at the helm of the Dauntless, Norrington sighed as he spotted his new King climbing about the ship's rigging, tightening ropes and arranging the sails more to his liking. 'Lots of propriety that one has,' he thought to himself as the pirate now stood atop the highest beam on the mainmast. Actually, perhaps Jack Sparrow as King would be just what England needed. He certainly would liven things up a bit. . .  
  
The lookout called, "Land Ho!" as the Dauntless rapidly approached Port Royal. Norrington called Officer Groves up to the helm. "Yes, sir?" the younger man asked his superior.  
  
"As soon as we reach shore, I would like for you to bring word to the Admiral and the Governor that our new King has been found. Let them know that we will be in my office in Fort Charles."  
  
"Of course, sir," Groves said as he returned to his work. The ship was just entering the harbor, and they would be docked in Port Royal in less than half an hour. Then, the citizens would be introduced to their new leader, Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
-------------------  
  
As he stood atop the mainmast, holding tightly onto the railing of the crow's nest, feeling the wind blow his hair back, Jack Sparrow was having a feeling of deja vu, remembering the last time he had made a grand entrance into Port Royal. Although, this time around, he was atop a grand ship, not a little dinghy, and his ship was actually watertight. He was rather enjoying himself, caught up in the fond memories of the faces of the people watching him sink into port, when he heard the Commodore call him down. "Your Majesty," he yelled, "Come down, we will be docking in a few minutes." Jack rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed sigh as he grabbed a rope and climbed down onto the deck. (A/N: Thanks to Hecate for inspiring that idea! I thought it was grand.)  
  
He strolled up to the helm where Norrington stood and casually put his hand on the man's shoulder, much to the Commodore's dismay. Sparrow always did have a way of invading everyone else's personal space. "Tell me, Commodore," he began, waving his other hand around in some incomprehensible gestures, "Will we be stayin' in Port Royal long enough to attend the wedding of Mr. Turner to the lovely Miss Swann? After all, that's the reason I was comin' to yer fine town in th' first place."  
  
"Yes, I do not believe that they would let us take you anywhere until after their wedding. Now if you would be so kind. . ." he carefully pushed the pirate's dirty hand off his shoulder with a single finger, then wiped his hand on his jacket. A bath would definitely be in store for the King, preferably in the near future.  
  
The Dauntless finally pulled up to the dock as the anchor was dropped and lines were thrown down to secure the large ship. Groves approached the Commodore at the helm, where the pirate captain was still standing next to him. "Sir, I shall go retrieve the Admiral and Governor Swann for you," the young officer said.  
  
"Very good, Groves. Tell them that we shall be in my office in a few minutes." Groves nodded, then exited the ship off the gangplank. Norrington followed suit, and when he was halfway to the gangplank, he motioned for Jack, who was still staring at the water, to follow.  
  
"Come on now, your Majesty," he called, and Jack ran up to meet him. "We must go to my office to meet the Admiral."  
  
"Ah, now tell me again, what's th' name of this pompous git?"  
  
Norrington gave a long-suffering sigh, then answered. "Admiral Patrick Aston. He was placed in charge of finding you. And also, Governor Swann will be coming along to greet you."  
  
Jack smiled at the thought of the Governor's face when he saw his new King. The two men were not exactly on the best of terms, to put it lightly. "Well, Jimbo, this should be an interesting meetin'," he said as he walked to the edge of the ship and down the gangplank. Norrington followed.  
  
"Yes, your Majesty, I suppose it will be." Commodore James "Jimbo" Norrington led the way to Port Charles, keeping a close eye on the pirate to make sure he would not try anything funny.  
  
-------------------  
  
"Are you at all nervous, Will?" Elizabeth Swann asked her beloved fiance. Their wedding was the day after next, and the final preparations for the extravagant event were already in progress. Just that morning, actually, Will had gone to the tailor to be fitted for his new suit for the wedding. Elizabeth, her father, and a few servants had accompanied him, and she had been rather amused to see his anxious reaction to seeing himself in such finery.   
  
Will Turner looked up from stirring his cup of tea. After the morning's fitting, he decided to take the day off work to spend with Elizabeth. They were currently having afternoon tea at the Swann residence. However, Will felt that his stomach was tied in so many knots that he could not possibly eat a bite. It was amazing how nervous something so simple as a wedding could make a person. "Nervous about the wedding? No, I'm not," he lied. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Only because you put eight lumps of sugar into your tea."  
  
"Oh." Elizabeth giggled as her fiance looked down at his cup, a bit dismayed.  
  
Just then, they were interrupted by loud, quick knocking on the front door. A butler got up to answer the door, and Elizabeth, too, went to see who the visitor was. They were not expecting any company today, and she was quite surprised to see a rather out-of-breath Officer Groves standing at the front door. "Why, Officer Groves, do come in!" she ushered him into the foyer and towards a chair. "Please, do sit."  
  
"Thank you, Miss Swann." The tired man gratefully accepted the invitation and let out a huge breath. It sure took a lot of energy to walk through the entire town, up the hill to the Governor's mansion. But he had business to attend to. "I'm terribly sorry to intrude, but Commodore Norrington sent me to relay a message to Admiral Aston and to the Governor."  
  
"Oh, is that so? Pardon me, Jeeves?" Elizabeth summoned the butler who had answered the door.  
  
"Yes, Madame?"  
  
"Would you please fetch the Admiral and my father?"  
  
"Right away, Madame," he responded while leaving the room to complete his mission.  
  
Will entered the foyer to see who had arrived that was causing all the bustle. "Why, hello, Officer Groves," he greeted the Navyman with a handshake, curious to see what the man was doing at Elizabeth's house.  
  
"Good day, Mr. Turner," Groves returned the greeting. Just then, a very flustered looking Admiral Aston came running down the stairway, his white curly wig half falling off his head. Governor Swann, too, entered the foyer from his study, walking at a rapid pace. They both immediately crowded around Groves, coming close to shoving Will and Elizabeth out of the way.  
  
"Is he here? Have you found him?" the Admiral demanded of Groves.  
  
"Yes, we just brought him in on the Dauntless." The Admiral and the Governor both breathed a sigh of relief, then smiled and began to laugh. Groves continued with the Commodore's message. "He is with Commodore Norrington in his office up at Port Charles. The Commodore would like you both to come up as soon as possible."  
  
Both of the older men were ecstatic about the news. "Splendid! We shall make way immediately!  
  
However, the young couple had no idea what the others were so terribly excited about. Elizabeth, who was naturally very curious and prone to eavesdropping, decided to find out. "Father," she said, putting her hand on his shoulder, "What is going on? Who have you found?"  
  
"My dear," he said with a big grin on his face, "Commodore Norrington has just found Sir Francis Stanton IV!"  
  
Now this surely was news. Will had heard much about the search for the missing heir to the throne. He joined into the conversation. "Sir Stanton, as in the new King of England?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Turner, the King of England is right here in Port Royal!" He then summoned Jeeves. "Jeeves?"  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"Please go to the stables and have one of the carriages prepared to go to Fort Charles. Then have one of the maids prepare the finest guest room for the King to stay in. And after that, have everyone begin preparing for the King's welcome ball tonight! I want to make sure that he will be given Port Royal's finest greeting."  
  
"Right away, sir." Jeeves, in his usual manner, rushed out of the room to fulfill his orders.  
  
Elizabeth turned back to her father. "This is wonderful, Father! So, will the King be staying in our house?"  
  
"Yes, Elizabeth. He will be here for a few days, until we can prepare a ship to bring him to England. And tonight, we will be having a grand ball to welcome him." He saw the carriage pull up in the front drive, and the driver opened the front door and gestured for them to climb in. The Governor got an idea, then turned back to Elizabeth and Will. "Would you two like to come with the Admiral and me to meet Sir Stanton?"  
  
The prospect of this made Will feel a bit nervous. Him? Meet the King of England? Surely Sir Stanton would not approve of being welcomed by a lowly blacksmith, someone obviously much below the King's social status. "Well, erm-"  
  
However, his fiance would hear nothing of his excuses. Elizabeth Swann had been wanting to meet this mysterious nobleman since she first heard about the search for him. Nudging Will, she said, "Oh Will, don't worry so much! It will be quite an honor to meet the King!" To her father, she replied, "We would love to come, Father."  
  
Before the Governor could say anything, a very impatient Admiral Aston stood in the doorway, tapping his foot. His already high-strung personality had been wound even tighter at the pressure of finding Sir Stanton. Now, he could hardly wait to greet the new King. "Governor, we really must be going," he announced hurriedly as he walked quickly away and climbed into the carriage.  
  
"On our way!" Governor Swann led the way out the door, with his daughter and her blacksmith fiance following close behind. As the carriage began moving, Will let out a nervous breath. Hopefully the King would not be too disapproving of having to meet the town's blacksmith.  
  
-----------------  
  
The sight they saw when Admiral Aston flung open the doors of Norrington's office was a bit unexpected by both the Swanns and Will Turner. As the group stepped into the large, well-decorated office, there were only two others in the room. One, of course, was Commodore Norrington, who sat behind the large mahogany desk. And the other, which both delighted and shocked the young couple, was Captain Jack Sparrow. He was seated in a chair in front of the Commodore's desk, feet propped up on another chair, hands behind his head.   
  
When the group entered the room, he looked over to see who the intruders were, then turned wide-eyed at the sight of Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner. Some surprise they were in for.  
  
"Jack! What on earth are you doing here?" Elizabeth rushed up to him, giving him a worried greeting. She had not seen her unusual pirate friend, if that was the right term to describe her and Jack's relationship, since Will saved him from the gallows over a year ago. It was good to see him again, but it was not as good to see him in Commodore Norrington's office.  
  
Will shared the same worry. "Did you get caught?" he asked the pirate. He assumed Jack had been in Port Royal to attend their wedding, but did not wish him to be hung only days before the event.  
  
Jack stood up and faced them, offering a warm grin. "Yeah, I s'pose ye could say that. Good to see ye again, lad," he said, shaking Will's hand. "And ye, Miss Swann, ye look as lovely as ever." Jack performed an elegant bow and kissed Elizabeth's hand. He then turned to view the other occupants of the room. He recognized Governor Swann, who looked a bit perturbed at the sight of the pirate who had threatened his daughter and Port Royal. Jack sauntered over to the older man and shook his hand. "Hello again, Gov'ner," he greeted, as Swann grimaced and wiped his hand on his pants. What possibly could this vile man be doing here? he wondered.  
  
The only other person in the room was another man, perhaps around the governor's age, dressed in a blue navy uniform. It was much like the Commodore's, except it was more heavily decorated with various insignia. So this must be the Admiral. "Admiral Aston, I presume," Jack said, shaking the man's hand and finding a bit of humor in his disapproving looks. "It's a pleasure to make yer acquaintance."  
  
Elizabeth decided to interrupt Jack's string of greetings. Her mind was overflowing with questions. What on earth was he doing here? How did he know the Admiral? But one predominant question came to mind. "Commodore," she asked, "Where is the King?"  
  
Norrington smiled as he walked over beside Jack, who gave a tight-lipped smile and then turned his attention to the floor. "Governor, Miss Swann, Mr. Turner," he addressed the three befuddled people. "It is my pleasure to introduce to you Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV, King of England."  
  
At hearing the Commodore's words, three sets of eyes became a mile wide and three jaws dropped to the floor.

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Did you enjoy? I hope so. Guess what, though? Today, August 2, is my birthday! Woot Woot! And if you really wanted to get me a great present, just go click that little "review" button and let me know what you think. Everyone who reviews will get a piece of cake! 'Tis good, trust me.  
Tune in next time when Jack will have to brave one of his most dreaded enemies: THE BATHTUB. 


	7. Hydrophobia

Hello, all! I just want to apologize for the terribly long delay for this chapter. I'M SORRY!!! My muse deserted me for a spell, then school started on the 18th, and I just kept putting it off! But my muse returned in full force this evening, so here I am, writing fanfic, when I really should be studying for my AP Chem test tomorrow. But such is life.  
Anyway, I just want to thank you all for your lovely reviews, and the birthday wishes! Your review inspire me to keep going, and always cheer me up! Also, I'd like to extend a belated birthday wish to nychick8990, whose bday was August 9! Happy belated birthday, and thank you so very much for your lovely reviews!  
Here is chapter 7. Actually, I am quite pleased with this chapter. I think it is one of the best, and I am sure you all will enjoy it! So here goes nothing:

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**Chapter 7**  
  
Jack was now becoming a bit uncomfortable as the three stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. He did, however, imagine that their reaction upon hearing the news would be similar to this.  
  
As if on cue, Elizabeth, Will, and Governor Swann all broke out at the same time into soft, nervous laughs. Just the concept of Jack Sparrow, pirate captain of the infamous Black Pearl, becoming King was so far-fetched that they figured it had to be false. If Commodore Norrington had been more of the joking type, they would be fairly certain that this would be one of his tricks, and that Jack was just in town to attend their wedding. However, Norrington was not the type to do something like this. Plus, Admiral Aston did not look surprised at all to see the new King, only a little dismayed at his stench.  
  
"And what's so bloody funny?" Jack asked angrily at the three laughers. He was already feeling a bit out of place and annoyed, and they were not helping the matter. Upon hearing the almost hurt tone in his voice, the three stopped their nervous giggles. Maybe this was not a joke?  
  
Elizabeth decided to speak up. She said softly, and almost nervously, "Commodore, surely you must be jesting. If you caught Captain Sparrow, I ask you to please pardon him. He most likely was only coming to Port Royal to attend our wedding-"  
  
"We are not kidding you, Miss Swann. I was just as shocked myself. It only seems that Mr. Sparrow here has a bit of a foggy past, which he did not care to disclose to anyone."  
  
Elizabeth's eyes narrowed. "No, Commodore, this is just not possible. I mean, this is Jack Sparrow we are talking about here! Honestly, I do not know what kind of fool you take us for, but-"  
  
Norrington cut her off, and addressed her in a serious tone. "Miss Swann, why would I lie about such a serious matter as this? I do not take you for a fool in the least, and I know this is difficult to believe, but please try. I swear upon all that is holy that I am telling you the truth." The room was filled with silence for a long minute while everyone tried to absorb this surprising information. Jack, hands clasped behind his back and looking up at the ceiling, was beginning to feel uncomfortable under the tension in the silence and disbelieving glances coming his way.  
  
Will decided to break the silence, and after clearing his throat nervously, piped up, addressing Jack. "So Jack, you really are-"  
  
"Yeah, whelp. Sir Francis Johnathan Henry Stanton IV, at yer service," Jack responded, bowing to the rest of the occupants. "King of England now, I guess." He noticed that the faces still bore astonished looks.  
  
Will, still in a state of shock, as were the other two, asked, "Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
"Y'never asked, mate. What's past is past, an' I like to keep it that way."  
  
"But- but Jack?" he paused, still gaping. "How, I mean-?"  
  
Jack cut him off before he could continue. "Later, lad. I'll fill ye in later. Seems we got more important matters to take care of now, eh?" he said, noting the still-stunned expressions of the newcomers.  
  
But not only was Governor Weatherby Swann stunned, he was appalled. They actually were considering dubbing this low-life pirate King? How absurd! They might as well give the title to the donkey at Will Turner's smithy for all he was concerned. "Admiral, you don't actually intend to dub this. . . this ruffian as King, do you?" He looked over at the pirate, who had a look of mock hurt on his face at the Governor's words.  
  
Admiral Aston stepped forward and let out a sigh. "Governor," he addressed, "I completely understand your concerns, as I have the same fears myself. But Sir Stanton is the heir to the throne, and we have no choice in the matter."  
  
"But, Admiral! Be reasonable. What makes you think he is qualified to rule England? He is a pirate, a low-life criminal. Plus, the man is positively mad!"  
  
"Daft, actually," Jack corrected the older man. He got a thoughtful look on his face for a second. "Well, I have been called 'mad' by many others besides yerself, Gov'ner. Isn't th' first time I've heard that. But I don' really think I'm 'mad'-mad, so to speak. More of a 'daft'-mad, I'd say. Most people think me mad, or even madly mad, but I'm more madly daft than daftly mad, wouldn't you agree?"  
  
For a few seconds, the other five occupants of the room stood silent, trying to decipher Jack's jumbled, cryptic words. It did not take them long to figure out that no matter how long they contemplated the words, they would never understand them. The Governor spoke again. "Like I said, the man is positively mad."  
  
Jack frowned, a bit dismayed that nobody, save himself, understood his profound speech. "Well that may be so," he said. "But, Gov'ner?"  
  
"What?" Swann asked impatiently, in a tone that reminded Jack of Norrington's.  
  
"I do hope ye'll show more respect for yer King in the future," King Sparrow said with a mischievous smirk. "Now please do apologize," he added with a mischievous grin.  
  
The Governor scoffed at the pirate before turning to the Admiral. "Admiral, this pirate is being ridiculously immature! I mean, honestly-"  
  
After seeing Jack standing and staring at the Governor in a look of feigned anger, foot tapping in anticipation of his apology, Norrington decided to settle the matter. "Governor Swann, if I may be so bold as to intervene, I would suggest apologizing to the King. He won't let the matter go until you do, and will more than likely become more and more annoying until the apology is made." Jack made an angry face at Norrington, and Elizabeth could not help but snicker at the blatant truth in the man's words.  
  
Governor Swann gave off a long-suffering sigh before mumbling quietly, "I apologize."  
  
"What was that, Gov'ner?" Jack cupped a dirty, bejeweled hand to his ear and leaned towards the older man.  
  
"I said 'I apologize,'" the Governor said, a bit louder.  
  
"I believe you forgot one very important thing in yer apology, mate."  
  
"I apologize. . . Your Majesty." Swann nearly shouted these last words in frustration at the pirate's immaturity. He was obviously going to use his authorities to make people do God-knows-what.  
  
"Good. Apology accepted, my dearest Governor." Jack smiled, pleased at the Governor's eye-roll. He then turned his attention to the rest of the group. "So, I hear you fine people are holdin' a ball in my honor tonight, eh?"  
  
The ball! Swann had been so shocked to find out the true identity of the pirate that he had not even considered if the welcoming ball would still be taking place that evening. Surely it would not be suitable to introduce all of Port Royal to their new king, who just so happened to be a pirate captain. Perhaps it would be in their best interest to cancel the event. "Well, we were going to have a welcoming ball for the King-"  
  
His excuse was interrupted by his daughter. "Father, are you suggesting that we cancel the ball?"  
  
Upon hearing the disbelieving tone in his daughter's voice, the Governor stammered a bit. "Well, umm. . . Dear, do you actually think that we should publicize this. . . situation? Perhaps it would be better to keep the news quiet-"  
  
"Father, everyone in town knows about the ball by now. Wouldn't you say that it would cause a bit more commotion if for some strange reason it was canceled? I dare say that may draw a bit more attention to the situation."  
  
Governor Swann sighed. "I suppose you are right, Elizabeth. But honestly, I am still a bit worried about this whole situation! Everyone in town is expecting a Duke; what will they think when we show them that their new king is. . . is this?"  
  
Ignoring Jack's scowl, the Admiral joined into the conversation. "Don't fret, Governor. We shall have the King more than ready for the ball this evening. But this will be quite a task, I must say. So we really must be returning to your house soon enough," he said, trying to get the occupants of the rooms out the door of Norrington's office.  
  
They all began to file out of the room. Governor Swann lead the way, followed by Admiral Aston. Elizabeth and Will, who were still in a state of disbelief, stood back in the room, as Jack and Norrington approached the doorway. Norrington took a step back and gestured with his arm while saying, "After you, Your Majesty," to Jack.  
  
In turn, Jack folded his hands and gave Norrington a slight half-bow, as his normal sign of thanks. He said, "Why thank you, Jimbo," and sauntered out the door, followed closely by the Commodore. Will's eyes narrowed at the exchange. Did he just say "Jimbo?"  
  
Norrington's head poked around the corner, and Will jumped slightly as he said, "Miss Swann, Mr. Turner, are you coming?"  
  
"We're right behind you, Commodore," Elizabeth answered for them, as Will could only nod dumbly. Elizabeth took his arm and they walked out of the room and into one of the fort's many corridors, following the group in front of them, still quite dumbfounded. Jack? King? They were still not quite convinced this wasn't a trick, but if it was true. . . let's just say that the world would never be the same again.  
  
They exited the fort and stepped down to the street where two carriages were awaiting them. The Admiral and the Governor climbed into the first one, which quickly sped away, up the hill towards the Governor's mansion. Jack approached the second carriage, flung open the door, and hastily jumped in. Norrington, clearly dismayed at the pirate's lack of manners, sighed and shook his head while he gestured for Will and Elizabeth to enter. He then climbed in, closed the door, and they were off.  
  
As their carriage began its journey through Port Royal and up to the Governor's mansion on top of the hill, Elizabeth looked over at Jack. He was sitting across from her and Will, and was obviously trying to avoid all eye contact with them. Most likely because of this "little" secret he had been keeping from all of them. However, there was absolutely no way that she would allow him to keep quiet about his story, and leave Will and herself in the dark. So she asked him the question that he least wanted to hear, which was quite obvious by his wide-eyed reaction.  
  
"Well, Captain Sparrow, we do have about half an hour left until we arrive back at the house. Isn't there something you would like to share with Will and myself?"  
  
Will looked up at her. He, too, was more than eager to hear about his friend's mysterious past. "Yes, Jack, please do tell us."  
  
Jack sharply raised his gaze to her face as she addressed him. He smiled nervously and tapped his fingers on his chin, as if in deep thought, before responding, "All right, all right. I already told my little tale to the Commodore an' his little mates," his waving hands gestured to Commodore Norrington, who was seated next to him. "But I guess I can repeat it for ye both, just outta the goodness of me black heart."  
  
Will and Elizabeth leaned forward in anticipation. It was a rare occasion that they could get Jack to tell them anything about his past, and it was likely that this may be one of the most interesting subjects of his foggy past. Elizabeth said, "Thank you, Jack. You can probably imagine just how curious we are."  
  
And it was true. Never in all her days had Elizabeth imagined Jack to be from any sort of prominent family at all. She, like most people who knew the pirate, figured him to be just another whelp of some Tortugan "Lady of the Evening." She had never even seen the man exemplify any sort of propriety that was required of aristocracy. Needless to say, she was positively blown away to discover that this pirate was of a higher rank in society than she herself was!  
  
Jack answered her, "I know, love, I know. Now I want you two to listen, an' listen good. 'Cause Ol' Uncle Jack's got a story fer the two of ye. . ."  
  
(scene break: since 's being such a lovely wench this evening. . .)  
  
"Welcome to the Governor's Mansion, your Majesty."  
  
Jack was too busy taking in the complete wealthy appearance of the house that he ignored the Admiral's greeting. 'Well, there's no doubt that Lizzie's more than able to provide for her an' the whelp,' he thought as he examined the massive gold and crystal chandelier, the paintings and tapestries that covered the walls, and the marble floors. And all that was only in the foyer! Jack couldn't remember the last time he had been in a house this fancy since. . . well, since he lived in one, he guessed.  
  
"Nice, cozy little place ye got here, Gov'ner!" he said, heartily slapping the older man on the back while making his way around the room, examining various decorations.  
  
"Erm, well, thank you. . . your Majesty," the Governor said, a bit reluctantly. However, he could see the King was coming dangerously close to slipping a few "treasures" into his pockets, so he decided it was best to draw the man's attention elsewhere. "Now why don't we show you to your quarters? We really must be preparing for this evening."  
  
Jack swallowed. He had a vague picture in his mind of what the "preparations" would involve, and he did not like it one bit. "Alright," he said, trying to use a jovial tone, but failing miserably, "Lead the way."  
  
"Of course. Admiral, would you mind taking the King to his chambers and begin getting him ready for the ball? Elizabeth and I must begin preparing the house for the guests." The Governor sent a knowing look over to the Admiral, and he nodded, expressing that he knew what needed to be done.  
  
"Well, Governor, it would be my pleasure; however, I really must return to my work. Now that the King has been located, I have many letters to write to England and to the other Colonies. And I must complete them as soon as possible. But perhaps Commodore Norrington and Mr. Turner would be willing to help?" he now turned to the two men in question and flashed them a hopeful glance.  
  
James and Will looked at each other, as if questioning whether they should assist or not, before nodding consent. "We'd be glad to help, Admiral," the Commodore said respectfully.  
  
However, Jack did not seem to think this was such a great idea. Who were these people to think that they could make their King take a bath? How dare they? But when the others were talking, he decided to seize the opportune moment, and was slowly inching towards the still-open front door in hopes of making an escape. He was only a few metres away, within just a few more steps of freedom, when attention was once again drawn to him. "Your Majesty," Norrington called, smirking as he realized that he had upset the pirate's escape plans. "Won't you please follow us upstairs?"  
  
'Bloody Norrington!' Jack thought as he put on a false grin and headed back to the staircase. He sighed as he said, "Fine, Jimbo, fine. Let's go," and followed the military man up the stairs.  
  
Will hung behind, taking slow steps to follow the two up the stairs. He looked back at his wife-to-be, who was being led to the kitchen by her father to help prepare the house. She looked over her shoulder and mouthed, "Good luck."  
  
And Will knew they would need it. The day Jack Sparrow would willingly take a bath would be the same day that the odorous pirate would be King of England. Oh wait, he was. Time for a new analogy.  
  
(Scene break number 2)  
  
As the Swanns went about their preparations for the evening's events, and as Admiral Aston proceeded to inform the world of England's newfound King, James Norrington and William Turner II found themselves in charge of the most difficult task available. That of making Captain Jack Sparrow look presentable.  
  
James sighed as the irate pirate captain proceeded to storm about his bedchamber. The man had been relatively calm throughout the previous proceedings, but had been pushed over the edge, so to speak, at the sight of the bathtub filled with water, set in the back of the rather large room. Plus, the razor, scissors, and hairbrush sitting on the side table did not help with the matter. Neither did the fancy, uncomfortable-looking clothes hanging by the dressing curtain. Nor did the white wig, which looked quite similar to that of the Commodore.  
  
The man had been pacing angrily about the room for the past few minutes, muttering things like "Jack Sparrow don't take bloody baths" and "They'll not touch my hair!" under his breath. Will was sitting in a chair in the corner, clearly growing bored with the scene. But James had finally had enough.  
  
"Your Majesty, I suggest you stop your ranting and just get in the tub. You're only delaying the inevitable."  
  
Jack paused in mid-step and turned to face the Commodore. "Pardon me, Jimbo, but who are YOU to tell the King that he's gotta take a bloody bath?" he nearly yelled.  
  
Norrington took a step closer to the pirate, clearly unperturbed by his anger. "I made it perfectly clear to you earlier today that part of the agreement was that you had to LOOK the part of King. And, in your current state, you most definitely do not. Whether you like it or not, Your Majesty, you will not leave this room until you are cleaned, shaved, and dressed properly. Am I understood?"  
  
Jack, sneering at the Commodore, plopped down on the edge of the bed, crossing his arms, looking the part of a spoiled child. "Well then I guess I ain't leavin' for quite some time then," he said darkly and turned away from a seething Norrington.  
  
A thought came into Will's mind of how to handle the situation. He learned long ago that it really isn't hard as it seems to get the stubborn pirate to do as you want. All one really must do is use a bit of reverse psychology. He stood up and walked over to where James was standing in the corner. "It's all right, James," he said, in a patient voice. "After all, it's not Jack's fault he's afraid of water." Will said this smoothly, and added a wink in Norrington's direction at the end. The two smiled, clearly seeing the pirate tense at these words.  
  
The Commodore grinned, knowing exactly what Turner was getting at. "You're right, Will. I should've seen it before. Who would've thought that the fearless Captain Jack Sparrow would be so afraid of water that he would refuse to take a little bath? Poor lad. I suppose we should give him a bit more time to work up his nerve."  
  
Jack, whose back was still facing the two, slowly turned around to face the Commodore and the blacksmith, who were trying to keep straight faces. He gave them a dark, threatening glare, and said slowly in a low, angry voice, "Ye can't fool Captain Jack Sparrow, lads. I. Ain't. Afraid. Of. Water. Savvy?" he said, punctuating each word separately.  
  
Will looked at the pirate, who was barely managing to keep his anger under control. "It's all right, Jack," he said kindly, "You don't have to lie to us. We understand, and we promise we won't tell too many people about it."  
  
"WHELP!" Jack yelled, bolting to his feet and dashing across the room to where Will and James were standing. He was in their faces in no time, clearly angry at them. What did they take him for, some lily-livered pansy? His voice now soft, low, and dangerous, he said to them, "Now I want you two to listen, an' listen good. I'm a pirate, lads. And not just any pirate, th' best ruddy pirate in th' Caribbean. And pirates are NEVER afraid of water. We live on the bloody ocean, for Christ's sake. Read my flapping lips. Captain Jack Sparrow Ain't Afraid Of Nothin'. Especially Water." After his speech he paused and took a step back from them, trying to calm himself down.  
  
However, all the anger Jack had rid himself of was quickly reinstated when Will and James turned to each other and said in unison, "Denial."  
  
His logic being completely blinded by fury, Jack was determined to prove their foolish belief wrong. Before any of them could say "rum," Jack had pulled off his boots, unbuckled his belt, untied his sash, and threw them all onto the floor. He proceeded to pull off his dirty white shirt, which landed atop the heap of clothing now littering the otherwise clean room. Before long, his vest and breeches were off, too, and the pirate ran across the room in naught but his skivvies and jumped into the bathtub, creating a gigantic splash. Norrington cringed as the curtains and wall became soaked, but was otherwise pleased that they had managed to get the pirate into the tub.  
  
"Ha!" Jack laughed, still unaware of the ruse. "I told ye Captain Jack Sparrow wasn't afraid of water!" His triumphant grin, however, slowly turned to a frown as he realized what had just taken place. Norrington and Turner smiled at each other and shook each other's hand in congratulations.  
  
Jack looked around in dismay, upset to be sitting in a bathtub. Especially a bathtub that he was fooled into entering. "Well, you two think ye're pretty darn smart, now, don't ye?"  
  
Norrington smirked, taking much pleasure in his triumph. "Why, yes, Captain Sparrow, we do think so."  
  
Will laughed at his friend's dismay. "Sorry, Jack, but it's the only thing we could think of to get you in the tub. But now that you're in there, you might as well finish cleaning up."  
  
Jack sighed. "Fine, fine, fine." He shuddered as he looked at the water, which was slowly turning brown from the dirt coming off his body. He really wanted nothing more than to be out of that bloody tub! There was no dignified pirate that would ever be caught dead taking a bath. Especially not Captain Jack Sparrow. He had to escape. But how?  
  
Looking towards the window, a thought popped into his head. He turned to face Will and the Commodore, who were still grinning haughtily to themselves. "I don't suppose yer King could have a bit of privacy, aye? I mean, I don't really take well to bathing for an audience."  
  
"Of course, Your Majesty. Mr. Turner and I don't really care to watch, either." The two men nodded consent and began to walk toward the door. Right before he closed the door, Norrington popped his head back through the door. "Sparrow?"  
  
"Aye?"  
  
"Don't forget to use the soap." With that, he closed the door, leaving the King alone and unsupervised.  
  
"Oh yes, Commodore, I'll be sure to use the bloody soap," he said to himself in a quiet mocking voice, as he sat in the tub awaiting the opportune moment.  
  
(Yet another scene break)  
  
Jack sat in the tub for another few seconds just to make sure the coast was clear. When he was sure that the two men wouldn't be entering anytime soon, he deftly hopped out of the tub and moved quietly towards the large bed, stripping the sheets off. He tied them together tightly, creating a makeshift rope he planned to use for his escape. As soon as the rope was finished, he quietly ran to the balcony and tied one end to the railing, leaving the rest fall towards the ground. This would be much easier if he were not on the third floor.  
  
Jack went back inside to get dressed. After all, what would people think if they saw a sopping wet pirate running around in nothing but his skivvies? Surely that would not be the most dignified thing he had ever done.  
  
But just as he had picked up his shirt to pull on, a loud knock came at the door. Norrington's muffled voice said, "Your Majesty? I'm coming in." Obviously the man was expecting something to this nature.  
  
Not having time to put on his clothes, Jack quickly grabbed his gray overcoat and thrust his arms into the sleeves as he ran to the balcony. He quickly leapt over the side and slid down the makeshift rope. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he ran at top speed through the Governor's gardens, only hoping that nobody had seen him. He leapt over some hedges and swiftly climbed up the side of the iron fence. After making an ungainly landing on the other side, he strolled down the road. He clutched his coat shut, trying to look as normal as possible while walking down the road soaking wet and bare-legged.  
  
Now all he had to do was find a way off this Godforsaken rock.  
  
And he would find a way off the only way any decent pirate would. He'd commandeer a ship.  
As he neared the docks, Jack set his sights on a small schooner anchored in the harbor. She looked to be unguarded, and would be easily handled by one man. Plus, by the time the Navy would realize he was no longer on the island and make the Dauntless ready for pursuit, he could be in Tortuga, having a round or three of rum with his crew. Yes, this plan might just work. Might.  
  
Jack turned around to advance toward a small rowboat lying on the beach. However, he had not expected to walk right into a pair of Redcoats.  
  
"Good day, Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry to be gettin' in yer way. But I have an important appointment t'keep, so I must be going." Jack tried to turn away and quickly leave, but was seized by the arms by the two men.  
  
"Terribly sorry, pirate, but you'll just have to be missing that appointment. I believe the Commodore would like to see you. But don't worry, he would be more than happy to make you another appointment with the gallows."  
  
(And another scene break. . .)  
  
"What do you mean 'he ran away?' How could he escape? All you had to do was get him to take a bath!" Admiral Aston's chubby face was flushed blood red with anger as he berated James Norrington and Will Turner as if they were two small children. The Governor, too, was there, pacing nervously about the parlor. Elizabeth was sitting next to her fiance, holding his hand for a bit of moral support as Will blushed at the embarrassment.  
  
Norrington felt rather embarrassed, too. He had only left Sparrow alone for a couple minutes! When he had thought it wise to check that the pirate had not done anything stupid, he entered the room only to find nothing in the tub but dirty brown water. He had followed the trail of puddles on the floor to the balcony, where the bedsheets had been formed into a rope to assist with the pirate's escape. And once again, Jack Sparrow had made an ass out of him! The man was positively incorrigible!  
  
"Admiral, if you would give me a chance to explain-"  
  
"Explain?! What is there to explain, Commodore? Are you going to explain to me how you let the man whom we have been searching for for months slip out of the house, right under your nose? Yes, Commodore, do explain. I would love to hear it!"  
  
Will spoke to the positively livid man. "Pardon my intrusion, Admiral, but it was not the Commodore's fault. The King ordered that we leave the room while he bathed, and managed to escape in less than a few minutes."  
  
The Admiral turned to Will. "Mr. Turner, that must be the poorest excuse I have ever heard. Now, I swear, if we do not find Sir Francis-"  
  
Both Will and James silently blessed whoever knocked at the front door, interrupting Aston's diatribe. Norrington took the liberty of going to answer it, and was almost knocked off his feet with surprise when he opened the door.  
  
There stood two soldiers, each holding an arm of the soaking wet form of Jack Sparrow. Said pirate was not only soaking wet, but wearing nothing but his overcoat and his skivvies.  
  
"Sir," one of the soldiers addressed Norrington, "We found this pirate down at the docks-"  
  
Before the lad could get out another word, the Commodore had grabbed Sparrow from them, yanked him inside the mansion, and slammed the door in the faces of the two bewildered soldiers.  
  
Still holding firmly onto Jack's arm, Norrington proceeded to quickly lead him into the parlor where the rest of the group was waiting. As soon as the two entered, everyone in the room sighed in relief to see that the King had not run away. This, of course, was quickly followed by a gasp and a giggle from Elizabeth at Jack's appearance, as her father covered her eyes.  
  
"No need to worry anymore," Norrington announced proudly. "It looks like our King has been found."  
  
"'Ello, everyone!" Jack waved at them all, trying to lighten the tense mood of the room. "I see ye all missed ol' Jack."  
  
The Commodore released Jack's arm, and could barely contain a slight laugh as he looked at the pirate's attire, or lack thereof. "Your Majesty, is there any particular reason why you decided to climb out a window, jump some fences, crawl through bushes, and run around through Port Royal wearing nothing but your overcoat and your undergarments?"  
  
Jack grinned and put his hands up. "Pirate."

* * *

Well, that's it for chapter 7! Pretty long, eh? I hope you enjoyed it.  
Tune in next time to see Jack get prettified! Uh oh. . .  
Now, go click that little blue button and leave me a nice little review! I know you want to. . . and plus, all reviewers will get a Captain Jack Sparrow 18 inch talking action figure, which are due out in October! Wahoo I can't wait. Ta for now! 


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